Is it possible to tutor my own child?

[weleasewoderick23]

My ds (15) has just finished year 10 and his overall attainment is abysmal. He's on track to fail every GCSE and I'm really worried about it.

He has ADHD for context.

I really want him to make his last year at school a successful one and I'm thinking if tutoring him myself ( I was a teacher many many years ago so out of touch with current stuff). Is it possible and how do I go about it?

I would be grateful for any advice as all the tutors in my area are booked until January.

I feel your pain. I have an almost 15 year old about to do his exam year, also with ADHD. We are both teachers so helping him should be a breeze, right? 😂 Nope, as lockdown showed, he hates doing anything with us. We do find sheer bribery can help sometimes.
I think going over his class work would be a better approach than trying to learn all the exam courses and teach things out of order. Does he bring jotters home etc you could use, or is it all on Teams etc? Some subjects will have a revision guide you can buy "How to pass.." etc.
Have you spoken to his school about his arrangements in the exams, does he get extra time/breaks?
We are hoping some new medication will help ours, just waiting for the prescription now.

Sorry, also meant to say, ds will not sit down nicely and make flash cards etc. But I'm planning to use quizlet and make the cards myself, then he could do the games (he likes fast moving things). He also likes being asked stuff while he is doing something else (like playing Xbox).
Depends how much the adhd affects your son.

Thanks for your reply.

You are absolutely correct that trying to teach your own child is a nightmare!

The flash cards sound like a good idea as his concentration is shocking. I don't know what's on the curriculum for next year yet and I just wanted a bit of a head start over the holidays.

Does anyone know where I could possibly look it up?

Sorry @Bindayagain I didn't read your post probably! I'll find some how to books for him and I think that I will go over his daily class stuff when he goes back to school.

Trouble is I think he'll refuse to do anything over the holidays, lockdown proved that!

I was a secondary teacher and the kids I was teaching were all getting A-B and my own child with ADHD was struggling. I know your worry. I tried tutoring him in same way I would any other child. He said it helped him understand but he was reluctant to write anything down. He hates writing but has as a consequence a brilliant memory. So I made up 200 questions and short exam responses and he just learned those. Also for English he learned a series of similes, metaphor, descriptive images and sounds he could use indoor scenes and outdoor scenes. He could then select some in exam for descriptive essay. Eg as I looked up I could see a plane in the sky, but could not hear any sound from it, all too soon it was gone leaving a soft white trail in the sky. He is dyslexic and got a B which was really good for him as he had been predicted a D in English Language. He wanted to do well so he could do A levels but we bribed very heavily too £100 each A, £90 for A£80 for B, £50 for C and nothing for anything else. He got 1 D, 1 C and other grades A* - B which for ADHD child was very good. He was allowed to use laptop in exam so no hand writing needed.

I wouldn’t, as with any SEN you really need a professional tutor trained to teach kids with the SEN your child has…which is ADHD. I’d also focus on the core GCSEs- English, maths and science.

Is your DC diagnosed? Have you considered ADHD medication? Medication can be a life changer in helping focus and working memory.

When my DC were at school the school website was my first go to for information around what they were studying.

I found work books linked to the curriculum helpful for revising and refreshing topics taught.

I subscribed to some on line resources. But again double check school do not already provide these. One my DC found particularly useful was www.my-gcsescience.com/

I would encourage my DC to study for short but frequent periods. Flash cards helped my one DC.

I also used the subject specification. I sat with my DC and we identified areas they were confident and where they needed to work.

I am a teacher and it all depends on whether he would cooperate with you or not. My first ds flatly would not. There would be an argument within 5 mins. My second ds seemed to like me doing stuff as he had dreadful concentration in the class setting but on a one on one he could learn quickly. I did a lot with him. He even had me up very early going over stuff on morning of exams. Its fantastic when they go with you.
I have tutored kids whose parents were at their wits end and they were forever amazed at how they would listen to me and learn a lot. So you know whether your guy would listen or not. I would go for short bursts and agree with the bribery too as anything that works at this stage.

Thankyou so much for all your replies, I really appreciate it.

He has been diagnosed and is prescribed medication, but refuses to take it when not in school. This makes concentration really difficult at home.

I don't really want to bribe him if possible. He will forget between the start of year 11 and the end, he is very impatient and impulsive and would struggle to see long term. I also want him to learn the life skill that working towards a goal brings reward at the end. Great in theory, not so good in practice 😂

I think the consensus on here is that it's really difficult to tutor my own child which has answered my question so, Thankyou.

I have registered him with a few tutors, but there are none available in my area till the end of January, which is a bit of a bummer. But I'll keep looking into it.

Once again, Thankyou to everyone for you helpful replies.

I would say yes you can if your child is willing.

I did a lot of work with my DD1 (dyspraxia) as she really benefitted from the 1-1 to keep her focused and to break things down for her.
I do try to work with my DD2 but she is much less co-operative and so we achieve less.

As for 'what's on the curriculum for next year' that is easy for many subjects.
You know what GCSEs he's doing, and hopefully know what board he is doing (they should have told you when he did his options). Get the relevant CGP revision guide for each subject, tick off what he has already done, and everything else will be done in y11.

This will work for science definitely, not so much Eng Lit unless you know the texts, worked for us for RE, will give you an idea for maths, and then is subject dependent.

Can you bribe/reward for working hard with lots of small rewards? That is what I have to do with DD2. This summer she has to do 2.5hrs maths weekly to get the bits and pieces towards getting guinea pigs. So e.g. end next week we will buy a water bottle if she has done the time.

I personally wouldn't recommend it. Imho being a mum is a sacred role and your child can end up resenting you in the context of trying to get them to do work etc. I can recommend a tutor who worked with my cousin's son (he too has ADHD but won't take medication) - they were really good and found ways of getting him to work and succeed. He was predicted a D for A Level and got an A after a year of sessions! I can PM you their details X

Why won't he take his meds at home? Can he see the link to meds and attention for homework?