Dd keeps falling asleep in her clothes

[bendmeoverbackwards]

Dd is 15, end of year 10. She’s on the autistic spectrum and has had some problems this year with anxiety and erratic school attendance. She’s much better now but attendance is still very poor. We think it’s a habit she’s got into rather than anxiety.

She has poor sleep hygiene/routine (very common with ASD I know). We have recently reintroduced Wi-Fi restrictions, her devices switch off at 11.30pm on school nights (too late I know but we had to start somewhere). One problem seems to be she’ll sit or lie on her bed late at night with every intention of showering etc but will then fall asleep in her clothes.

Last night this happened again. I went in to get her up for school, she was asleep in her clothes with the lights on and hence has refused school again this morning. I’m so frustrated.

If she's having to do homework at 11pm, I'd suggest reviewing her extra curricular activities. DD has activities til 10pm some nights, but I insist homework is done before she goes so she can get home, eat and to bed.

How about setting a reminder to shower on her phone or Alexa or whatever you have - so you don't have to remind her and the demand is coming from elsewhere (not you). And definitely make it earlier - say 9pm or whatever.

Thank you all, some excellent advice, I appreciate it.

She was upset last night, tried to have a calm conversation but she got tearful. She said we were making life so difficult for her with all these ‘rules’. And she admitted she finds it hard to get up off the bed and go snd shower.

I think I’ve made the mistake of being too lax and now it’s hard putting the boundaries back in place. If she was neurotypical I wouldn’t hesitate but I’m worrying I’m forcing/encouraging NT behaviour when she’s not.

Is it a problem if she doesn't shower every day? Sounds like she's overwhelmed, then the demand of the shower is one demand too many on difficult days.
If she's overwhelmed and can't face school then staying in her clothes all night is a good way to prevent yourself going to school.
I'd see if she'd skip the shower and just get into night clothes after the dance class. Then say to her it's her choice whether to shower or not but she can always shower after school.
I'd err on the side of saying to her it's ok to skip the shower here and there on difficult days as it's taking one thing off her To Do list.
It's great that she has a dance class she enjoys though.

Well she needs to shower at some point.

Bit if she's falling asleep in her clothes she is tired. Just let her sleep and shower in the morning.

She doesn't have to wash her hair every morning. Buy her some shower caps.