Mental Health - severe anxiety & OCD. How to communicate with therapist when DS is an adult?

[CaptainHatRack]

Hello, I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting this but perhaps some advice and ideas.

My lovely DS (19) has had some severe mental health problems. He had severe physical health problems as a child and started to recover, then the mental health problems started.

He saw a psychologist for anxiety and severe OCD a couple of years ago and she was able to help him. Initially, he saw this therapist alone but we realised that he wasn’t being open with her so asked to join his sessions. At that point, we worked as a family to help him resolve the OCD issues.
He’s now seeing a different therapist
as he asked to go back a few months ago specifically for anxiety.

His OCD has now returned with a vengeance but he refuses to discuss it with us.
We’re concerned that he’s not again being open with this most recent therapist about the current situation and how he really is. I say this because that’s how he reacts to this, he closes down.
I would like to send an email or speak to his therapist about what’s really actually happening but I don’t know if she would accept that from us as he’s classed as an adult. DS would also, I suspect, not like this but we have to take that chance to ensure he’s getting the right treatment.

I’m sorry this is so long. I don’t know what I’m expecting from posting this but anything would be appreciated. TIA

If he's an adult the therapist would quite likely not even confirm that your son is in therapy with them for reasons of confidentiality.

I really understand how awful this is for both you and your son, severe OCD is a really scary illness and difficult to live with both for the person with it and for their family. However, on balance I wouldn't get involved with his therapist as it may break the trust between you and him, and possibly between him and his therapist.

If your son refuses to engage with you about his illness there's not much you can do about that. However, I would suggest that you educate yourself as much as possible about OCD. Try not to show how anxious you feel about him, as that will feed into his anxiety. Trying to make your home environment calm will help him. Try not to collude with him or overly reassure, he needs to face his fears as avoidance just fuels it.

Paige Pradko and Natasha Daniels on YouTube do some good videos on OCD. Which kind of OCD does he have, is it checking, contamination, pure OCD?

My ds has some therapy and, because I pay for it and he’s obviously a young adult at 18, I email his therapist with my concerns.
I don’t, though, receive feedback as that is confidential.