THE talk with DD

[champagnetruffleshuffle]

DD 15 is at the start of a relationship with a boy in her year. DD and I have always talked quite freely, but less so since she became a teen. I know she is inexperienced and understand that he is more experienced, he is extremely keen on DD. I want to talk to her about sex, but also don't want to talk to her about sex lol. I'm sure she will hate it!

How did your talk go when you had it? Do you have any tips?

I want to guide her about consent and contraception, to let her know I am here but don't want to seem interfering.

Help me strike the balance please!

I bought my two, girl and boy, books on puberty and sex when they were teenagers and left them to it but made sure they knew they could ask anything.

I just sat DD and told her that we were going to have the talk. Her response was ‘omg I can’t believe you’re going to do this, I don’t want to have this conversation, you’re so embarrassing’ to which I replied ‘it’s either me or your dad’ I was told to get on with it. Similar conversation with DS. They know they can come to me about anything. I especially stressed consent.

I bought them puberty books, didn't think of getting one on sex. Although my daughter is definitely not a great book reader! A chat is more what I was thinking.

It doesn't matter if she hates it or not, it is vital that she hears it. You tell her that you're aware she might feel awkward about it, but that now she's in a relationship it's very important that you and she sit down and talk about consent and contraception.

Dashofmilk that made me lol! I can literally hear my daughters voice saying that!

What sort of thing did you say, if you don't mind me asking?

I agree Mollicious, I'm going to power through the awkwardness.

i started the ‘chats’ before they got to relationships tbh. That said when dson got a gf at 16 I bought condoms, and told him that if HE didn’t want children then he needed to be responsible for that and to take no one’s word for it. I also told him that Enthusiastic consent is a thing… don’t ever assume… ask. No means no.

For dd it’s her body , to do with as SHE l Iikes and no one else has rights or can ever assume anything is ok but not to put herself in a position that she can’t get out of…. She can always call me and I will get her. No means no. These conversations were easier in the car when there were no interruptions, they didn’t have to look at me tbh!

they both talk to me, I’ve told them I will never lie to them but might not have the answers but will try. Led to some embarrassing conversations but we’ve all coped 🙈

This book is amazing. My daughter is not a book reader but loved this (also 15). We had the talk too but this was left for her to refer to and she definitely has.

Thanks Lollypop, the car suggestion is a great one. Totally agree with your message for both of them, I have a younger son and will be ensuring he takes responsibility.

I'll take a look at that book blacknailvarnish, thank you.