Am I unreasonable not letting my 15 year old make regular trips alone to Bristol?

[Judgejudyandexecutioner]

Am I being unreasonable saying no to my 15 year old boy making trips by himself from Swindon to Bristol?

The trip entails a train journey then a 2 mile walk to a bus stop then a bus across Bristol. He would be doing this journey carrying an electric guitar and pedal case and the journey back would be staring early evening.

I keep thinking what if. What if the bus doesn’t come and he is stranded? He is very obviously carrying an expensive guitar.

Just wanted a feel for it is just me being an over protective mum or would others feel the same?

I’d feel the same.
why is he making the journey?
Band practice? bit far away, find a nearer band. Busking? I’d tell him to play somewhere nearer. Lessons? Use someone closer.

you will get replies saying “I moved out at 16… I’d let mine go…he needs to be independent” or whatever, but you know your son and I totally understand your concerns.

I guess if the bus didn’t come then taxi/Uber to the station could be an option as a one off.

Have you looked at national express to see if there is a coach with an almost door to door route? I’m guessing the journey time might mean it’s not an option but may be worth a try.

I'd look for some travel option without the long walk. Try Bristol Parkway if thinking Temple Meads, or vice versa.

What's the back up plan if the bus doesn't turn up? Is it a good service?

Where in Bristol? I can’t imagine any train station being a 2 mile walk from a bus stop.
I’d be concerned too OP.

It is to play as part of an orchestra.

I would accompany him if I could but am in a powered wheelchair and am not confident that the trains or buses will be easily accessible for my chair. I am sure we could arrive early and arrange a ramp for getting on the train but what about getting off?

normally you don’t get a whole load of time to get off the train

Also not sure all buses can accommodate my powered chair.

It is for monthly rehearsals. We even costed out taxis but cannot afford that option.

The band leader tells me he is fine with his 15 year old daughter travelling to and fro from major cities including London so am feeling like I am looking like over protective mum. 🙁

Tbh if it's once a month I think it would be fine if he's a sensible sort and you think he could handle the journey .

Templemeads Station has buses into town just outside. And taxis. There is no need for him to walk for 2 miles at all. Parkway also has a taxi rank and would be a sensible alternative if where he needs to go isn't on the bus route.
If its only once a month, prebook him a taxi from the station. At 15 that should be a nice opportunity for some independence.

The train journey bit is fine.

The walk and bus part seems a bit of a slog. Can you arrange for someone else in the orchestra to pick him up and drop him back?

I think if he's not coming back in the dark then you are being a bit overprotective.

I also have a 15 year old and he's quite competent at getting trains places.

Id let him do this but would start putting money aside for taxi’s in bad weather. I’d also make a plan for any issues with the bus e.g what alternatives buses are there and what’s the route if he needs to walk any of it, can he find any good natured parents who he could text if he needed help

A taxi to replace the walk and some emergency funds and he should be fine. Did you mean the taxi is too much for thst bit or the whole route?

Sounds fine to me especially just once a month.

Would a taxi be doable as an emergency one-off in the unlikely event of him getting stranded? If not, what other plan B could he make?

I do think you sound a little over-anxious.

I'd let my 15 year old do this.

But then again, I also let her go up to London (from Oxford) to stay overnight with her 18 year old sister. I'm all for fostering independence.

I'd just say make sure he has the money as a back up in case the bus doesn't work one day, but the responsibility is his to make it work. Children usually rise to the challenge. Swindon to Bristol is not Hugely far or risky, so I'd consider that to be appropriate at this age.

it sounds like exactly the age appropriate kind of confidence boost you both need

if teen wants to go I would do anything I could to facilitate

I know it will be terrifying for you but try not to let it knock their confidence

if you don’t have confidence in them then how will they?

Once a month for an orchestra - yes I’d be fine with it.

Train and bus sound fine, but 2 mile walk in the dark depends on where it is. Could he just get an uber for this part of the journey? Seems odd that there's no bus in a big city.

Can we help with the journey planning? What is the bus stop/train stop involved in the long walk? Journey planners don't always combine bus and train well IME so it helps to either look through all the individual timetables (which can be a huge pain to get hold of online) or get someone who knows the local transport network well suggest a good route for you.

I know Bristol very well. Where is he trying to get to and from? I can tell you if it's an area that's particular risky or not although obviously nowhere is completely risk free. Tbh he is probably best off getting the train and then an Uber, so he isnt walking alone at any point and to make the journey a bit more simple.

Yes I think I would allow this. Could the bandleader pick him up from the station? Plenty of time with the light nights to work it out.

Can you say where in Bristol? I’m trying to envisage a 2 mile walk from either temple meads or parkway. Will that also be 2 miles back?
Can he manage a 4 mile walk with the guitar?
if you can say where he’s going we may be able to find a better route

You can arrange assistance at both stations - not by turning up, it needs doing in advance. But it can be done. It's a bit terrifying when you have to get off at an intermediate stop in case the assistance isn't there, but fortunately you will be travelling with someone else who can block the door and prevent the train from leaving if they have to!

Do a bit of research on the buses too. It would be very doable here in Leeds so hopefully Bristol isn't too far behind.

I would be fine with this .

Once a month to attend an orchestra, I would be fine with this.

Re trains and powered wheelchairs.
When you board the train (with ramp/assistance) they will ring the station ahead and arrange someone to be waiting the other end with a ramp.
(The stations platforms might be suitable without a ramp - but you'll have to ask at the station).

I know in London buses have electric ramps for wheelchair users - I would assume Bristol is the same being a large city.
Therefore you can accompany your DS the first time to get his bearings.

I can't believe the trip will involve a 2 mile walk from the station to the bus stop - have you used Google maps (select public transport as your mode)?

Once a month to enable him to play as part of an orchestra? I would absolutely be encouraging them to do this aged 15!