After some objective advice about my dd13. She's always been headstrong and impossible to persuade once she's decided something. However until recently she has always loved her sports, and at primary school was the stand out girl in pretty much everything.
Her selective senior school is full of bright energetic very capable girls who seem to excel at everything. My DD fit right in with them in y7 but has completely lost her mojo and drive this year.
School is concerned about her general levels of motivation and engagement, and her recent end of term academic assessment results were very mixed, at best! That doesn't come as a surprise as she seems to do very little work at home (it's all done on school laptops so it's hard for us to supervise or really be on top Of what she is expected to be doing). The overall parents eve take was she is doing the bare minimum, and asking us what's going on. We don't know!!
Pastoral care at school is excellent and they are doing their best to help her navigate what is going on in her head. I suspect their softly softly approach won't last forever though, as she doesn't seem to be engaging with them either.
She gets in trouble frequently for a lot of low level issues such as not handing in homework, wearing jewellery etc. problem is, she doesn't care if she gets in to trouble either at home or at school.
She doesn't seem to have any particular friendship issues at school-she's often laughing on Snapchat with friends. She used to hang out with the confident sporty ones but is now very dismissive over them. I wonder if she has withdrawn from that group because her peers seem to have improved exponentially this year whereas she's stagnated at best. I fully acknowledge this must be a hard pill to swallow. Shes been Overlooked for some incredible opportunities which must hurt even tho she denies it. However, on the flip side she doesn't help herself. She's missed key training sessions and refused to go to club matches, letting down a number of people. I think it's a vicious circle - she's pissed off to be second tier so she's giving everyone the finger by no longer trying. Argh!! She doesn't have any Other hobbies or interests.
If she had her way she Would spend the whole time at home in her room with the curtains closed on her phone! Pretty sure her confidence is at a low ebb for the reasons mentioned above, she's also put on a lot of weight this year as she's not doing nearly as much exercise as she did last year. So that can't help her general well-being. All she's interested in these days is social media 
We've asked her if she's happy at the school and wants to stay there, and she's always been very quick to say yes, and I believe her.
I guess my question comes down to this - how would you get someone like this to care and be motivated?? Bribe/threat/cajole/tears/shout/reason/listen - all fall on deaf ears!! She just doesn't care, and I'm so worried if we don't somehow address it she will continue this attitude into y9 with increasingly bigger risks.
Thanks for reading.