Counselling at school - how does your secondary school handle it?

[Bordador]

My anxious, 13 year old daughter started school counselling a couple of weeks before half term holiday. She had been waiting since February. In that time, her anxieties had waxed and waned, and when the counselling started, she was in, what I would call, a more optimistic phase.

The counselling has opened up lots of questions and thoughts and I've been called in to the school to talk through a problem with the safeguarding officer.

I would say that the counselling has made her anxieties worse, and put in her mind thoughts and new anxieties that weren't there before.

I also have lots of thoughts flying around my head - shouldn't the school have let me know when the counselling was due to start? Should they have told me who the counsellor is, and their qualifications? Shouldn't they have given me information to support her at home, in case feelings and thoughts arose that were tricky to deal with? The counsellor is working with my daughter, but has no frame of context to understand what she says. Doesn't safeguarding work both ways?

I feel quite let down by the school. I was left in the dark.
I wanted the counselling to be really positive for all concerned but I genuinely think it has worsened her anxieties and driven a wedge between me and the school.

I just wondered how other schools handle counselling and parents. Does anyone have any experience? THANK YOU

No experience with school counselling, but I have in the past been somewhat 'dissatisfied' with counselling my DDs have received for the same reasons. The lack of contextualisation or keeping parents in the loop makes it hard. However the young people need to know that what they say is confidential, it gives then the space to explore their thoughts and feelings. I don't know what the answer should be.

Thanks.
I understand that the child needs to be able to say what they feel without fear or favour, but I also think the counsellor has a responsibility to understand the context within which the child is operating. Early teen children have very subjective thoughts. In this instance, an allegation my daughter made, which I believe was a misunderstanding, created a family crisis involving safeguarding issues. I, my husband and family, believe the allegation became bigger in her mind because of what the counsellor said about it.

To top it off, the counselling was happening late afternoon, and the safeguarding lead had already left for the day. So my daughter came home from the school, with this dark 'secret' she had told, but didn't feel she could tell me. I don't think the school should have allowed the counselling to go ahead if there was no one to support her - and me and the family - afterwards, if there was an inkling that the session was going to produce this allegation.

I just feel really let down by it. And cut out of the process.

I understand. Half a job is worse than no job at all.

You need to sort out your own counsellor. I'm surprised that what she has said was disclosed to you. I think I would personally keep that sort of thing separate to school life.