Dyspraxia

[NatLea]

Hi. My 13 year old is on the waiting list for OT for possible dyspraxia but I’m certain he has it and have been for a long time now. Just curious to hear from other parents of teens with it and how it’s affecting them as they’re getting older. Thanks

Hi my ds is 13 and was diagnosed with a motor difficulty when he was younger. The ot said she didn't use the term dyspraxia. So I am not sure if my sons motor difficulty is the same thing.

He loves being active but can find pe at school difficult at times. The worst thing is he is very accident prone because he likes movement and to be active but is very clumsy.

Always found writing, shoe laces, buttons, even eating difficult. He did learn to swim and ride a bike. It was hard work but we got there in the end. But I always worry about him when he does these things because he is so accident prone.

I suppose writing at school I worry about because he doesn't like to be different so very rarely chooses to type his work when he is in school.

I have 2 with dyspraxia, one in her 20s and one at college.

Elder one

• drives an automatic car


• accident prone in daily life (spilt drinks, knocking limbs etc)


• disorganisation and processing issues impact working skills but prior to pandemic was doing well in a job that played to her strengths


• struggled with essay writing at school due to issues, particularly struggled with Eng Lang exam but passed as she took it before reforms and had controlled assessments too


• needed a lot of help with GCSEs revision, lots of 1-1


• fussy on foods

Younger one

• more impacted by her dyslexia


• has trouble going down stairs


• not yet learning to drive but I hope she will start this summer


• sensory issues, crowds, noise etc but made worse by pandemic

Ot was great and gave him exercises to do. He has definitely improved and having the diagnosis helped in primary school. Not so sure it helps with high school as he doesnt get any support even though he is supposed to.

Using a knife and fork was another thing that was very difficult but he has master that now. I supervise him if he is baking or cooking and needs to chop things. He found cooking and sewing difficult at school.

How does your dc get on?

Thanks for your replies.
i have been on to the sen at school to help but I’m getting nowhere. My son can’t ride a bike or swim, despite trying to teach him he’s now got to an age where he’s too embarrassed. He can use a knife and fork now but looks really awkward. His hand writing is all over the place.

i think I just worry about him being bullied

Ds can swim but was and still is very resistant to riding a bike or learning to drive. Was a laptop user at school and had extra time for uni exams and study support. Never enjoyed team sports but could climb, sail and ski well. Has a small cohort of friends.

Dyspraxia Foundation website and fb group useful.

Ride a bike - both can but not really safe on roads
Swim - both swim nicely but had a lot of lessons plus extra practice to get there, DD2 especially took years to do front crawl leg kick. However swimming was something we prioritised as a family
Ball skills - both hopeless as that was definitely not something we prioritised.
Skipping rope - ditto
Knife & Fork - DD1 is OK, DD2 still looks very awkward
Handwriting - DD1 is OK, but also types well and typed for her essay based GCSEs; DD2 v.poor but also hates typing, low muscle tone in hands especially has missed a year of school over pandemic, currently negotiating with college re scribe.

Bullying: I don't think kids would get bullied because of any of these things, but if they are targets for bullies anyway because of social skills / confidence then I guess it could be used. DD2 was made fun of more because of her slower processing and gentle nature so she couldn't tell when they were making nasty comments until after the moment had passed.

Im dyspraxia. In my 50s. Very clumsy. Can’t cycle, drive, use scissors etc. slow at writing, but typing just makes my handwriting worse.

you have to accept you will never be a safe driver, even if you can pass your test. It’s like driving drunk.

I have a lot of accidents, normally covered in bruises, occasional broken bone, arthritis in old breaks.

I can’t really think of anything else. I can’t sing or dance. Or play an instrument, but years of dancing lessons helped my coordination and balance.

lots of activities my children learnt to do better than me relatively young, so I was a bit sad we couldn’t continue to do them together, climbing, swimming etc

obviously have to work harder at work to keep up

it doesn’t affect my quality of life at all.

.

I can’t put my hair in different styles, or tie laces, or go up zips etc behind me, so I choose dyspraxia friendly clothes.

dint really think about it much tbh

I can’t do much in the way of team sport, but I can run marathons!

I have dyspraxia. I teach primary and have two degrees. Will be starting my doctorate soon. I don't do buttons or belts. I don't drive.
I do sing and played the clarinet and saxophone when younger. It's a mix so trying things out is important.
I am very open about my disability with the children I teach and explain how I do things differently and learn in different ways. I do have adaptations at work where I need them.

I can’t do much in the way of team sports but I can run marathons

My ds occasionally does the driving lessons for kids in an automatic car. I think if he drives it will be automatic. He learned to swim at lessons for children who have disabilities. He got 1 to 1 lessons there. It was through our local authority so not expensive and they actually got him swimming I am so grateful to them because he loves water.

At school he will get extra time in exams and be able to do them on a laptop.

He has had a few horrible injuries. Even had to get an operation on his knee due to a fall but as far as I know never been bullied. We are always discussing best and safest way of doing things and practice alot of things at home but I never push him. Try and avoid lacing shoes but get ones that look trendy.

I can understand how you are feeling

DS15 was diagnosed very young. His reception teacher picked up on it as soon as he started school. His condition is complicated by the fact that he also has a very, very rare chromosome disorder which was discovered when he was 12 yo and so, what's been diagnosed as dyspraxia/DCD, could actually be a symptom of the chromosome disorder.

He can swim and ride a bike, I'm not sure if he'll be able learn to drive. He finds getting dressed and organising/folding clothes difficult. He also struggles to tie shoe laces and with a myriad of small coordination tasks. He's physically active; runs, climbs, cycles and swims but sports involving balls and racquets are very difficult for him. DH and I make lots of small daily interventions in his life which wouldn't be usual for someone of his age. He gets tired very easily and suddenly.

He has a EHCP, receives DLA and gets a lots of support from school with a TA with him a lot of the time. He has exam access arrangements in place and has a scribe because he is slow at writing and his writing is very difficult to read.

He presents as geeky/quirky but I'm not aware he's been bullied. He goes to a very small school where all the students and teachers know each other and I think he's just accepted for who he is. A number of the students knew him from primary school.

I can’t dress neatly

DS was diagnosed with development co-ordination disorder (Dyspraxia) in about year 4.
Primary school did exercises with him and gave him a little bit of extra support.
In year 7 the senco agreed he could use a laptop in class.
He is year 10 now and won't use a laptop (because other children ask why he has it).
He has 25% extra time for his gcses which will be really useful in English and history.
He really enjoys sport although his catching etc is still rubbish.
He was late to swim and ride a bike but swims well enough now and cycles a lot.
He would probably say he didn't have Dyspraxia if asked, because he finds it embarrassing.
He is the person most likely in our house to fall down stairs, trip etc and has broke both wrists in recent years.
I think he can do anything but has to work a lot harder than other people for the same results.

Thank you that’s all really helpful.
he doesn’t seem to think he has a problem which makes things so much harder.
he can tie his laces now but they look a bit untidy. I’m not sure if he will get extra exam time if he hasn’t officially been diagnosed yet

i listed some other things I can’t do. But the post keeps getting lost. It isn’t a problem though.

best advice I could give a dyspraxia child is plan work on paper. Trying to plan on computer severely disrupts your organisational development. Plan work out on paper then type it up

I grew up with a strong growth mind set. That was pretty crap. Don’t let anyone fill your child’s head with that rubbish. Biggest regret of my life. All that wasted effort, and hope, and energy!

We're in a similar position @NatLea with our 11-year old son, waiting for OT assessment via the school (who were v willing to make the referral but actually getting them to send the thing off took weeks and weeks of nagging..)

He's always been slow to meet developmental milestones (crawl, walk, talk). We suspected mild dyspraxia for a long time but never saw the purpose in seeking a diagnosis because he seemed to get there in the end (more or less).

That changed in Y6 when writing and PE has become more challenging, the gap between him and other students has grown, and he's started to lose confidence ("I'm rubbish at this.. I just can't do it"). Going into Y7 we figured it will only get harder, & accessing support in secondary school is the main reason we're seeking an assessment now.

Whether he has a diagnosis or not, at the least its been 'named' then the teachers and hopefully him too are not going to think he is lazy or dumb (he is good at STEM subjects, but hates writing anything down!).

Some qu for anyone on here who might know:

• any experience of how dyspraxia can affect a child's social skills and even better any tips on how to help them cope if it does? This is a concern for us I found some research on it but not sure what to do with this type of info!

www.gold.ac.uk/news/dyspraxia-and-emotional-distress/

• are we right to seek an assessment by an OT or should we aim for an educational psychologist? I am not 100% clear on difference between them.

• any thoughts on whether its better to pay privately to see an OT or to wait for the process to go through the school? Paying privately may be quicker (tho there's still a long waiting list here) but if it goes through the school I guess it might be more 'joined up' to the child's day-to-day?

you have to accept you will never be a safe driver, even if you can pass your test. It’s like driving drunk.

That is absolutely not the case for everyone with dyspraxia. I’ve been driving over 20 years, manual & automatic cars, only accidents I’ve ever had have been when I’ve been stationary and idiots have driven into me.

DD was diagnosed with dyspraxia while being assessed for dyslexia. Tbh her dyspraxia imo is mild - she fidgets a lot and that was her main symptom - and she is good at sports. But it was worth the diagnosis because where I am dyspraxia will get her extra time in her exams - which in fact she needs for her dyslexia!

Organisation and processing skills - managing money is particularly challenging.
He can ride a bike (no handed even!)
He learned to swim with small group lessons and teacher in the water using hands on method. He’s not a strong swimmer but can survive.
He’s a skater. Can’t learn tricks quickly but is great on ramps and drops (because he’s pretty fearless and used to falling over).
He stopped using cursive handwriting in high school and developed a neat print style, but is very slow. Avoids filling in forms or writing anything if he doesn’t need to. Will generally phone rather than text if he can.
He’s impulsive and prone to getting overly emotional - although he may have some ADHD in the mix. That’s under investigation.
He’s an absolutely brilliant dancer ❤️

My DS14 lives with it very well. He's found his own way of doing things. It takes him longer but he gets there.
He does karate and his next belt grading will be black but it took a while for it all to "click" for him. He did ice skating (his idea) and completed all 10 National ice skating levels. It took him a lot longer than others.
I think all his activities have helped. If he tried to do warm ups such as spotty dogs it was quite disastrous but he can do it now.
He struggles with comprehension or long reasoned answers at school.
He was diagnosed at 4. The OT said he clearly has it from maternal familial link. I was unaware I had it but it makes sense. I didn't push myself like he has so he's become more able at sports than I ever was.

DC is dyspraxic - its actually called Development Co-ordination Disorder nowadays. The best research is by Prof Amanda Kirby who heads up a reserch facility at University of SOuth Wales and had a dyspraxic child herself. That led her to look into it and she was really the first academic to flag that it is more than just being clumsy. I really recommend both of her books on this list dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk/about-dyspraxia/recommended-reading/
DC also found Victoria Biggs book about being a dyspraxic teenager helpful.

I'm afraid that it is very much the Cinderella of SEN and most Sencos know next to nothing about it beyond the fact that it means a child may be clumsy. (Some of her teachers still referred to it as Clumsy Child Syndrome.) Now is a really good time to get it diagnosed as it will enable the school to build in all the reasonable adjustments for when they take GCSEs etc. There are a really good range of information sheets on the Dyspraxia Foundation website.

The most important thing to note is that it is not just about mobility but also how you think - DC often looks at things very differently to a NT child which makes life very interesting when it was maths.... a teacher who has years of bottom set experience is often what is needed as they tend to be able to cope with explaining in multiple different ways until they find the one that works. The other thing DC found really hard was being asked to do something and then being able to write it up as they couldn't remember what they'd done. It was a nightmare for things like DT and science practicals. We found asking that DC observed another pair doing the experiment or watched it on You Tube instead worked well.

DC finds working with an I pad and Apple pencil really helpful as once worksheets have been organised they stay that way (GCSE ringbinders were a nightmare) and the "feedback" of writing is helpful but with the right software the handwriting turns into type so it is legible.