Funding Uni

[Maximillia]

Hi Mums,
My ex and I have been divorced for over 7 years. He earns less than 30 k and he has just decided not to apply for student funding for my son but instead to force me (the higher income) to support my son at Uni.

His argument is that if I help my son now, he will have less debt after uni.

My ex does not listen to any counter arguments or my point of view. I'm now facing payments of £500 per month to support my son in maintenance costs.

Any advice out there on how to counter this bullying?

You can't choose who applies to be the supporting parent for student finance, your son has to declare which parent he actually lives with the majority of the time and that parent's household income is the one that is used.

Who gets the child benefit and which address is your son registered with at school?

Eh? you do know the income of the household your son actually lives in is what has to be used. He doesn't get to pick and choose

If you earn over £65k then you should be helping him out.

Even if your son lives with his Dad if his Dad refuses to fill in the salary on the student finance website your son will just get the minimum loan forcing you to put your hand in your pocket anyway.

Your son could choose to go to a uni close to home so no accommodation costs, take a gap year and earn enough to cover your £5k per year contribution or work whilst studying.

It is all well and good people saying yes stick your hand in your pocket for that £500 per month but the vast majority of parents just don't have that kind of money. 60% of students work whilst at uni. The maximum loan is a lot if, if, the accommodation costs are reasonable. First year is usually the killer as they are in halls but second and third year are better choice wise. At the end of the day the vast majority of students come out of uni with a huge amount of debt. It is the price you pay for going.

I should add both Dh and I went to uni and DC1 is at uni.

The son lives at both houses equally so he can choose - he chose his dad. But dad refused to fill in form. As the other threads imply, even if one earns more, in real terms, there isn't much saving from a higher salary as costs of living in London are huge. Also I'm a single income household. If I did have lots to spare, I wouldn't be asking for advice on this site.

Who claims the child benefit? Which address is on your son's driving licence/bank statements/ etc etc?

If the answer to those questions are his dad then your son needs to argue this with his dad.

Such good questions - he's registered for different things at different houses but he was able to assign the task of filling in application form to one parent. When dad refused, my son came back to me.
Now that I'm writing this, I don't think there is anything I can do. I can't force husband to fill in form. Just curious why mums (like me) can't find away to get dads to do something that would not cost them anything but would remove conflict that is harmful to the child.

Change uni to a local one he can commute to, get a part time job and his student loan should cover his fees then he can carry on living with you both

The sad fact is that any parent can refuse to fill in the student finance forms and many do refuse.