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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

13-year old & friendships

1 reply

confusedofengland · 08/06/2022 14:21

DS1 is 13, Year 8. He is a very academic, fairly sporty & outwardly confident sport. One of the tallest in his year, in case that's somehow relevant.

In primary school, he struggled with friendships. Had a few friends & lots of playdates, but never seemed to be the one picked for groups.

Then in senior school, he seemed to get a good group of friends in Year 7. All went to each other's birthday parties, just the 4 of them, met up with one individually a lot, I also messaged the mum. But a couple of times they arranged things without him, but with another lad, X.

Then Year 8 hit. He stopped hanging out with the old group as he felt X replaced him. Started hanging out with a different group, couple of 'playdates' which seemed to go really well. But now he's trying to go back to the old group, but they are leaving him out again. All went to town on last day but didn't ask him, but he had planned an Xbox tournament with 2 different friends.

Now he is on a school trip Mon-Fri & messaging me that nobody will sit with him on coach. But he is sharing a room with 3 lads (not first group) & said they are getting on really well. Seems quite upset about coach & scared to ask people in case he seems naggy.

Also he has won an award for being helpful & is embarrassed about it as thinks he'll get teased about it.

I don't know what to do & whether I'm overreacting. DH says I am, because I felt similar as a teen & even now sometimes tbh.

He has a best friend outside of school, does Scouts & football & has friends at both. Didn't see anybody over half term but down to how things panned out not lack of invites (home friend).

I guess I'm asking for reassurance or a kick up the backside please!

OP posts:
OnthePiste · 10/06/2022 09:31

Hi this almost mirrors what happened to my son in primary and then year 7/8! He quickly made a group of friends but then was pushed out as the year went on. Sat on his own on the coach on the school trip but this didn't really bother him to be honest. He also won a gold award for hard work and got teased mercilessly, resulting in him saying he didn't want to work hard anymore! At this point we decided to move him to a different school where he has thrived and made some friends. He still doesn't go out as much as some of his friends but he seems content. Funnily enough he is one of the tallest in his class too!

The fact that he has a best friend and is sporty is really positive and I really wouldn't worry. He might end up getting friendly with the boys he is sharing with, does he play in the school sports teams/go to after school clubs?

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