Teenagers travelling without adults.

[waterlego]

Just interested to get some opinions on this.

DD is 16 and doing her GCSEs. She turns 17 in September. She wants to go to Paris for a couple of days in the summer holidays with a friend who is also 16. They want to stay in a Youth Hostel. Both girls are pretty sensible and not prone to risk-taking or unpredictable behaviour.

When DD first floated the idea, I thought it sounded ok and wasn’t overly worried at the thought of them travelling alone. But now I’ve had more time to think about it, I wonder if it would be terribly irresponsible to let them go.

I do trust them to behave sensibly and look out for each other, but can’t shake off the thought they are vulnerable, purely because of their age, and the fact that neither of them are used to spending much time in cities.

Am I mad to consider this? Would you allow your almost-17 year old to go?

I lived in Paris in my early 20s and didn't find it unsafe at all. It's also quite a compact city so getting from A to B was quite easy. I used to travel in the metro alone late at night and it was always fairly busy though if they don't know the city I'd suggest they stick to restaurants near their hostel in the evening to avoid getting lost.

I can’t believe PP have let their children go to Scotland, haven’t you seen Trainspotting?

Erm, with reference to the film 'Taken', unfortunately I can vouch that there is some truth in this. Me and my friend 18 at the time (late 90s) did a day trip via Euro Star then hopped around the city on the Metro. As soon as we arrived on the Metro platform at Gare Du Nord we were flirted with,harassed and followed by a group of men of similar age to early 20s. They wanted us to go back to 'their's' and were touchy feely, they were on their Nokias communicating with each other the entire time. Everytime we thought we had lost them, there they were again. Even waiting for us at the bottom of the bloody Eiffel Tower. We ended up approaching a GN (they disappeared at this point) who kindly escorted us back to Euro Star. We should have sort help earlier but young and nieve.

Scariest day of my life and the trip to an otherwise amazing city ruined. Yes, this did happen.

I think independent travel is great for teens… but, having been in Paris with my 2 teen girls at start of 2020, I wd b wary of choosing there. The level of sexual harassment they both experienced was dreadful, even when I was in close proximity to them. I didn’t think it wd b any different than major cities in the UK but it absolutely was. Even to the point where they were being approached in shops and cafes. Persistent cat calling on the streets. Of course lots of lovely people but this overshadowed the holiday ☹️

I was frightened in Paris when I was in my 30s. I was alone and I actually flew home a day early because I was so intimidated by some men. They followed me, spoke to each other pointing at me, tried to touch me when I was buying cigarettes to take home for a friend, it was disgusting. I wouldn't take my 17 year old there, never mind let them go alone. The romanticised city didn't exist.

I went to Paris with my group of friends when we finished our GCSEs. We didn't have any trouble, Paris is a pretty safe city and easy to get around. Although now I'm wondering if our parents were all mad letting us go!

Hell no

At that age, however sensible they are, they'd be easy prey for any charlatans they come across. I'd be averse to the idea.

Thanks again all for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Interesting to hear different perspectives. The potential for sexual harrassment sounds perhaps greater than in UK cities, and if that were to happen it would rather spoil their adventure. That would be the same for young women in their 20s, I guess, but at least the latter might be less frightened by it and have a clearer idea of how to escape danger or unwanted attention.

Lots to think about so thank you everyone. I’ll sit down with DD and DH to discuss all these possibilities and see if we can come up with an idea of something a bit safer.

I think building up their confidence and competence gradually rather than letting them jump straight in the deep end is the way to go, just like when you first start letting them go out with friends or travel to school solo. And you can talk through and role play strategies to deal with male harassment, whether close to home or in a foreign city.

I know this is an old post but currently trying to find accommodation in Berlin that will allow a group of 5 boys (3 are 17 and 2 are 18) - any suggestions?