How do you deal with a lack of revision for mocks?

[HardRockOwl]

I have a lovely but rather lazy 15 year old. He's in year 10 and at this rate he will not pass his exams.

His idea of revision is to do it all - and I mean all - the night before. He's had plenty to do this half term but just won't do it. He's had one early 'proper' exam and said he felt he didn't badly.

He isn't 'defiantly' not doing it, he's just ... not doing it. He has it all printed out, he has a plan I've helped him with , he has a quiet study to himself, he has me on hand to help if need be for anything. So everything provided etc

It's always 'later' or he will sit doing it in a very half hearted fashion and at the age of 15, I cannot 'force' him

He's very average academically so really does need to apply himself but he just won't

So . I'm asking what you would do? I've explained consequences, I've made things as easy as possible for him to do it, I've offered help with anything he's not sure on.

I've told him now that this HAS to come from him and him alone and he's asked me to leave him to do it in his own way. So... that's what I'll have to do?

Just curious to know if anyone is in the same boat and what tack they're taking.

@SummerSazz poor thing. Yes, a middle ground would be perfect wouldn't it

Could he join a study group with slightly more academically diligent friends? I always did that for the courses I didn’t like. It made revision a bit more social and therefore less painful.

@UpToMyElbowsInDiapers well he could and I would love that. The school provided an after school club for those who weren't turning in regular work. He wouldn't attend. He received demerits for not doing so. He wasn't too bothered. 🤷‍♀️

So this is what I'm up against with him. Lazy and puts things off

Agree with Strawberrypot. Doesn't* *matter how much you nag even if you're standing over him doesn't mean he's taking it in.
If he does badly in the mocks that'll probably shock him into studying. That's what happened with mine.

As hard as it will be....step back
Only they can do the work involved this year and in the future for their exams
Provide a place that calm and quiet ..maybe some nice lens note cards etc and let them be ..
If or when they do get down to some serious revision provide cups of tea n snacks !!!

Step back. Its his life to lead and his mistake to make. Nothing wrong with experiencing failure, in fact it’s crucial. My DH failed his A levels first time around, it was the making of him.

My friend's son didn't to too well in his A levels. She told me they looked into it and it costs thousands to retake. Is this the case?

I remember when I was young you could do retakes for free. Definitely GSCEs, not sure about A-levels but I think you could.

Anyway she used to try and get him to study to no avail. Unfortunately it was during lockdown and the school didn't help much. Needless to say he did not do too well. Although I think he applies himself more than her other child. He then said he needed a break to find himself, worked in a shop for about a year and as she guessed he soon got fed up with the monotony and felt he wanted more.

He now has gone to a good university with the A level results he got. So I'm not sure how badly he did. Couldn't have been that bad or perhaps he won't through clearing.

What is the retake situation?

I would suggest backing off a little bit. It's good for parents to show an interest but some of the things you're doing sound a bit overbearing - he might be putting even more pressure on himself if he sees how concerned you are, which could just be overwhelming.

These are only mocks, and they have mocks for a reason.

Back away now and let him do it (or not do it) his way and see what happens.

@onelittlefrog if there's one thing he's definitely not feeling, it's pressure! He's pretty happy go lucky and not bothered about much - which is half the problem!

Im also not overbearing. I probably fall on the right side of concerned and supportive parent.

However I've decided that I shan't mention it for a while and will see if he manages to motivate himself at all.

Im sure stranger things have happened.

Thanks all for the input. Much appreciated

I found with my ds it was also about him not really knowing how to revise, he just sort of flicked through his books and wrote some notes (not great really. I left him to it for his year 10 mocks, then when he got his results (which weren't as great a he had hoped) we talked about his revision and decided together that doing past papers would work for him.

I printed them off, and the mark schemes, then he allocated himself a subject and he sat the paper in 'exam conditions'. Then when the time was up we would go through them together with the mark scheme, making note of any bits he needed to research further.
This way he learned exam technique, timings, how the papers were laid out and best of all he didn't have to think or motivate himself as it was all there in an easily accessible format all he had to do was commit to an hour/ hour and a half of his time.

No wisdom OP, just sympathy. DS1 is in Y9 but I am 99.9% certain that this is where we will be in a year. DH and I are completely at a loss because we were both naturally hardworking (straight As all the way through, Cambridge for one of us and Imperial for the other). He's academically able and we've provided everything we can - tech, tutors, books, study space, support - but he just isn't motivated. We're not particularly pushy and I am 100% on board with the fact that he is not us and may choose a path, but he is not putting in any effort AT ALL.

It is so bloody frustrating and I really don't know what to do for the best.

Let him fail.

Start talking about resits and summer school.

If its any consolation - not doing well in the y10 mocks can REALLY make them eprk harder in y11!

My Year 10 DD has also done no prep for her upcoming exams. I am trying not to nag too much. She has not had a great time with her mental health in the last couple of years and is doing much better at the moment so I don’t want to risk that getting worse again. She also spends a lot of time on extracurricular music - practising and rehearsals. As she is getting more and more into that her schoolwork is getting neglected. But she works hard on her music so I could never say she is lazy - it’s that she is prioritising that over school.

She wants to do music post-18 but what worries me is that if she doesn’t get a decent set of GCSE grades she won’t get into an ok 6th form. And it’s only the good 6th forms round here which offer music at A-level.

I helped her sort her room out today as it was like a bombsite so difficult to see how she could study in that mess. I have also talked to her a bit about the feeling just before the results come out and how horrible it feels knowing that you haven’t given it your best. Have explained that we are certainly not expecting high grades across all subjects but that she needs to give it her best shot. I don’t know if it has sunk in. Her school told them a while ago that they will be basing their predicted grades partly on the year 10 exams. She came home all in a panic that day but has done absolutely nothing about it since.

We have tried everything - cajoling, encouraging, praising, warning of disappointments down the line. The school has also stepped in, with endless friendly but firm warnings about effort not made and consequences thereof. The truth is, you just can’t push water uphill. It’s very hard to watch. Motivation, as someone else says, has got to come from within. I back off now. If it doesn’t happen, I can’t make it. You can’t control what you can’t control. If they know the consequences, then they know…It’s the school’s job to enforce schoolwork. If they can’t, parents definitely can’t.