Help I'm really struggling to know how to deal with my 12 year old daughter. She seems to have a boyfriend, he's been to our house today for the first time and they spent all afternoon upstairs in her room with the door closed. Epic parent fail I know. We were on holiday until this morning and she wanted to meet him and some others for crazy golf, then she rang and asked if he could come back, and I said yes. I picked them up and whilst I was locking up the car, they ran in the house, past my husband went upstairs and shut the door. I feel like this has all happened to fast I haven't had chance to set any boundaries or anything. She literally asked about the crazy golf two days ago which was the first inkling that she wanted to meet up with him.
Background info : I'm recovering from breast cancer treatment. My daughter has really struggled with this, she is having counselling. She is often angry with me, withdrawn, and isolates herself a bit from the rest of the house. It's all very alarming. She had a bit of a set back over the last month and her counsellor told us she told her that she put a blade from a pencil sharpener on her wrist but that she didn't intend to hurt herself. Because she's struggling I tend to be a really ineffective parent. I just want her to be OK. My little girl has disappeared overnight into a make up and jewellery wearing girl with a boyfriend that I just don't recognise any more and it's breaking my heart. Scared.