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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

concern for teen family situation

3 replies

doofus101 · 01/06/2022 19:17

Namechanged for this as daughter doesn't want me to discuss with anyone.

I'm concerned about a child in my DD's extended friendship group (I'll call her Jane). They are Y10. Jane seems a troubled and difficult person - very toxic/dramatic in friendships. DD was close to her a few years ago, but there was a big shift in friendships and she faded from the picture (which felt like a relief from the point of view of what was best for my DD). Recently, she's been back in the wider friendship group which has caused a lot of drama and difficulties. Jane has ended up quite isolated, with one friend (Sally) on whom she depends a lot. Consequently Sally has become quite isolated herself - my DD is her main friend apart from Jane. (DD does not like or trust Jane, and wants to keep her at arms length, but doesn't want to join in with the general ostracizing that has been happening.)

Jane has been struggling with her mental health, and attempted suicide a couple of months ago. DD believes she is on CAHMS waiting list, but I don't know.

Jane got in touch with Sally at the start of half term to say she had been sent away to live with her dad. Dad lives at the other end of the country to us, and is addicted to drugs. Jane is now at his house, says she is surrounded by drugs and drug taking and isn't being looked after. DD and Sally are concerned for her safety and for her mental health. Jane has told them that her stepdad gave her mum an ultimatum that she had to leave or he would.

I am hearing all of this third and fourth hand, so of course I don't really know what is going on. I'm not sure if I should be raising any alarms, and if so, to whom? Safeguarding lead at the school was my first thought, but not sure how helpful that will be if she's at the other end of the country. DD thinks we should leave it a week or so in case it all blows over and she comes back (she understands that I may need to override her wishes on that).

OP posts:
MadMadMadamMim · 01/06/2022 19:24

If Jane was sent away at the beginning of half term to Dad's then I'm assuming she is still 'on roll' at your DDs school. In which case I would contact their safeguarding lead and pass on your concerns. They have a duty of care to check where she is living and will know how to raise concerns and who with.

I don't think there is much else you can do. Tell DD that this is what you are doing, though.

doofus101 · 01/06/2022 19:48

That's the lines I've been thinking on too, so helpful to have another voice saying the same thing. Thank you.

OP posts:
Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 02/06/2022 19:00

Yeah definitely raise it with safeguarding at the school. They can pass it on to social services. If you know the area she moved to then tell them so they hopefully social services in her new area can be made aware of the situation.

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