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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

DD vaping at 15 - how to respond?

11 replies

printmeanicephoto · 30/05/2022 19:55

Found DD (nearly 15) hiding a vape device behind her back as I entered her room with a plume of vapour rising up from her elbow! She denied it all until I forced her to give it to me. I have taken it away and am now deciding what to do.

I knew that she had puffed on a friend's before but she said this was the first one (with nicotine in) that she has bought herself. I have checked her bank statements and this appears to be true. I have rung the shop where she bought it to tell them that they are selling the devices to underage kids. They shop has invited us in for a chat.

I have had a chat with her about the dangers of vaping. Not entirely sure whether I should punish her or just be pleased she's not smoking actual cigarettes which are worse health-wise. I guess if she wants to vape she'll find a way. Am pissed off that she's spent £10 of her monthly allowance from us on a device. Apparently a good portion of her year (Year 10) vape. Anyone else been in this situation and what did you do?

OP posts:

Dominuse · 30/05/2022 19:58

I’m not in your situation but I guess you have three choices

go ott and remove all money from bank accounts and allowances etc
ignore it
try to find a middle path

discussion here - path 3 is the one I would try to navigate eg talk to her about dangers and stresses etc

Regularmumnetter · 30/05/2022 20:05

Unfortunately vaping is very common nowadays around that generation. Apart from taking all money out of her bank accounts and not letting her see her friends there’s not much you can do. I think contacting the shop isn’t going to really help and by taking her vape away now she’s just going to go find another one. I suppose all you can really do is discuss the risks and long term effects and hope she learns on her own. Hope things get better OP!

Tinkerblonde1 · 31/05/2022 07:57

I have the same issue with my dd. It is rampant in schools too. Every lesson change over we having to clear 4-6 people out if cubicles as they are vaping.

You are right they will find a way. I keep discussing the dangers with my Dd. We have assemblys at school, Science lessons. It falls on deaf ears but I am hoping that the seed is planted.

Basilandparsleyandmint · 31/05/2022 11:43

It’s rife around where I live. My DS 15 bought a puff bar to try as he was curious but thankfully didn’t like it. I wasn’t aware that he had bought it and was very disappointed. However I do get that teens are curious although I was a bit older when I started experimenting with trying a cigarette etc.
All I can suggest is you explain the health implications and what a waste of money it is.
I was a bit shocked though at a bbq I went to recently where there were Girls of 11 / 12 sneaking off to do it while the parents where unaware 😳

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 31/05/2022 16:46

a friend of mine actually brought her 14 year old a vape. I was shocked. I’m not a strict parent and expected my kids to experiment (I certainly did) but I’d never facilitate it in that way.

it’s really common and tbh it’s up to you what line you take. If it was my dd I think I’d confiscate it, give her lecture on the dangers and just what a pointless waist of money it is and leave it at that.

I don’t think I’d want to put them off telling me stuff for life by going nuclear on her. When I was 15 I was smoking weed, popping pills and going to all night raves. Vapings pretty tame really.

Antarcticant · 31/05/2022 16:50

Is she using nicotine or nicotine-free liquids?

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 16/06/2022 00:31

My daughter did this. Even though it is not too bad for you I thought it was a waste of money and addictive. I took it all off her and said she could have it back when she was 18 if she still wanted it. I thought she would by more.... but I don;t think she has. She now says she is releived that she is not addicted to vapes as her friends are.

I am usually quite a lenient parent, I let them go out, I let them drink.

Vaping just really annoys me, it just seems so pointless. So on this I did put my foot down. I am now glad I did. Could have gone a different way though.

Sh05 · 16/06/2022 00:50

Please tell her to look up 'popcorn lung' it's damage is irreversible and the chemical largely responsible for it is often found in vapes and e cigarettes regardless of whether they contain nicotine or not.
I would also discuss with her the long-term unknown as yet implications of vaping as it's a relatively new thing atm.

Ponderingwindow · 16/06/2022 00:54

I would cut off all spending money indefinitely and revoke privileges. She would have to earn back trust and the freedom to be without adult supervision. Basically, I would take it just as seriously as smoking because it is.

MsOllie · 16/06/2022 01:24

Sh05 · 16/06/2022 00:50

Popcorn lung isn't relevant
The chemical isn't present in vapes here in the U.K., and it's heavily present in cigarettes
There also has been a lot of studies done on vaping

I'm not saying vaping at 15 is great or should be encouraged , but it's better than smoking which is what people did before, and vaping is a safe way to quit smoking for people that already smoke

Duchessofmuchness · 16/06/2022 14:19

When DS was vaping at 14 we confiscated .

At 16 we found again. It's still not legal to buy at that age (although not illegal to use.). At that point agreed we would not confiscate as we did not want him hiding things. But that he must never take to school (suspension if found with vape even if not using at his school) and we did not want to see him use it at home.

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