Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

I really need help please

2 replies

FailingMum81 · 29/05/2022 14:34

Hi mums I really really need help. I don't know how to cope with things at the moment. DD, 13, has gone through some really bad times over the past few years with friendships, bullying etc. We have reached a point where she confides in me now and asks for my help and advice but I am really struggling emotionally to take alot of it on board. I don't want to let her think this and then she not tell me anything or withdraw again, but how as mum do you know when to step in, when to step back, how much advice to give etc. I am really struggling with the concept of allowing her to make her own mistakes (when I can see her quite clearly walking straight into one) with balancing that with offering advice and guidance and then on top of that am carrying all she is telling me on a daily basis and I feel so much hurt for her it breaks my heart and is having a massive detrimental impact on my own mental health...but then I feel bad to even think I count when she needs help. I need some ways of finding a balance to be there to listen and guide but not allow it to all consume me as a person too....feel like I am failing her, and me, time and time again.

OP posts:
failing40s · 29/05/2022 17:42

Do you have anyone else to talk to OP? Is your DD's dad around? Sometimes just sharing the load helps. I have a couple of good friends that I've know since my teen was a baby/started school. I really value having other mums to talk to who have kids at the same age.

Do you have any examples of where you've not been sure what to do/say? It might help other people here give advice or say what they've done?

I've noticed my teen's school shares loads of information about support that's available for parents - often places are offering free courses/online seminars etc. Do you have anything like that where you are?

I am finding having a teen really tough and I totally get where you're coming from with it being a bit heartbreaking. I find they pull at my heartstrings way more than a toddler tantrum!

failing40s · 29/05/2022 17:43

Oh I've just seen bother our user names have failing in 🤦‍♀️ I'm sure you're not failing. You sound like you care very much. If you didn't give a toss that would be failing her.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page