Am I being a lazy cow?

[Dilraj68]

So since DD13 started high school, I've been making her breakfast.

She's at that awkward age where there's no importance for time management and being too laid back.

She'll go to sleep at a good time to ensure she's not cranky in the mornings. I get her up at 05:30 so that she has that lie in and get up by 06:00.

She'll take an age in the bathroom doing her eyebrows and than another 45 minutes doing her hair. Every morning.

She used to expect me to do her a cooked breakfast every morning while I'm having kittens stressing out that she'll be late for school. It's just a 7 minute walk.

I put my foot down and have refused to do her breakfast, for the past two weeks now. I feel a bit victorious but I want her to see and realise time management is so important. She had a, strop at first but now has realised. She needs to leave by 08:10 at the latest but too busy faffing lol.

I feel like a lazy cow sometimes when I'm sipping my coffee while watching her do her own thing.

Hopefully she'll understand not to take me for granted.

Dunno why I posted this but hoping someone else can relate!

Morning prayers are earlier now that summer is almost here. I guess she could do her prayers (half) but it's just getting her into that routine I guess. She knows that she can't get back into bed after prayers nor will she want to stay awake afterwards. I on the other hand have to stay awake after prayers except on weekends!

Stopped doing my DC breakfast when they were 7. That must make me extremely lazy! Not exactly difficult is it to make cereal or toast!

No, but many people understand the benefit of their children having a protein based breakfast.

@Dilraj68 I wouldn't have stopped making her a decent breakfast, if she's willing to eat it. I'd just say 'breakfast will be on the table at x time. You need to be down here to eat it, or I'll no longer be making it for you.

Are you up at 5:30 anyway? Does she give you grief at 5:30 or 6? If you are & she doesn't then your routine is fine, but if you're not or she does then I'd be telling her the wake up service is no longer in operation & she'll have to get herself up. And she will be leaving for school at x time, whether she's faffed with her hair or not.

mind you, at 13, there's no way I'd have let herself get into a situation where going to school (or anywhere) required so much effort!

No you’re not unreasonable and toast / cereal also fine!

But no way would I want mine scrambling eggs or doing porridge at 7, and that is what I like for them a few times a week

• she doesnt need a cooked breakfast every - no one does, it's very unhealthy and should be an occasional thing. Get her some cereal she likes, fruit, yoghurts she can just grab etc.
• 5.30am is very early to be getting up for school every day - is doing your prayers at that time set in stone? Surely she would rather have an extra hour in bed - she must be tired
• i would be having a serious conversation with my dd about why, at only 13yo she feels the need to be spending an age every morning doing hair/makeup. It is so unnecessary - does she have confidence issues which need addressing? A 13 yo really shouldn't be putting on a full face of makeup every morning

I don't think you are BU at all but I do think both you and your dd need to find a way to manage your time in the mornings - it sounds exhausting!

she doesnt need a cooked breakfast every - no one does, it's very unhealthy and should be an occasional thing. Get her some cereal she likes, fruit, yoghurts she can just grab etc.

cooked breakfast unhealthy?

poached egg on toast?
porridge?
some grilled mushrooms and tomatoes on toast?

unhealthy? 🙄

I'm assuming (maybe incorrectly) that OP means a fry-up? That's what cooked breakfast means to me. I wouldn't call porridge etc cooking!

But would you call poached egg on toast? Or grilled mushrooms and tomato a cooked breakfast? An omelette
ok so we made different assumptions. I didn’t jump straight to op serving a fat laden fry up every morning to her young teen. You did.

Does she have to pray in the morning? Sounds an awful lot to expect of a teenager

Did your daughter call you a “lazy cow” OP?

My kids are 8 and 10. Get up at 7 and get their own breakfast to be out the house by 8.30. There is no way I'd be making a 13 year old breakfast

No she hasn't and I hope she never does!

Does anybody else just really fancy eggs now?

Would you be up at 5:30 if it wasn't for your daughter?
If you would be, then carry on.
Most people would not be waking up so early in order to enable their child's vanity. If she really needs to spend over 2.5 hours getting ready for school, I suspect there are underlying self-esteem issues.
Getting breakfast is a trivial detail in comparison - you could boil a couple of eggs in 5 minutes, that's not time-consuming if you are already up and in the kitchen.
But waking at 5.30 for school at 8.25 seems absolutely unnecessary, and if she wants to do this, then it should be on her to sort it out.

She needs to grow up. She should be setting her own alarm clock, and pouring herself a bowl of cereal. 5:30 is ludicrous. The full English was ridiculous, but at least you’ve managed to stop that.

I've already stated the reason why we wake up at sunrise, it's for morning prayers.

You force your teen to wake up at 5:30 to pray? She needs the sleep more than she needs to pray.

Not once does the op remotely indicate that her daughter doesn’t want to pray nor that the op “forces” her daughter to pray.

We need to instill the importance of prayers into our children at a young age. They watch us and do the same. Prayers are important and it sets up a habit in them for life. This is our way of life according to our religion. I'm not forcing her, rather I'm hoping that she develops a habit of praying regularly if she sees me doing it.

Would you allow her not to if she chooses she doesn't want to anymore?

Is she washing her hair in the morning? I used to..I am easily distracted getting up (ASD and waiting on ADHD assessment). I switched to washing and drying my hair in the evening which saves me lots of time.

No, because we pray five times a day, not just the early morning ones. No question of her not wanting to stop praying it's just getting into a routine to do the morning ones.

Doesn't wash her hair in the mornings as her hair is long.

Ridiculous to do a cooked breakfast every morning but also ridiculous to wake a child up at 5.30 to perform prayers YOU want her to do- something she doesn't have a choice in. Also known as indoctrination.

And no, I'm not being racist. I feel the same about the Christian church and its subdivisions.

I mean pray at all not just the morning ones.

It’s of course your prerogative to do morning prayer of course, as it is her prerogative to take 90 minutes doing hair and makeup (maybe she’s making a point here!) but anyway no you’re not lazy for not cooking her breakfast. My dd is doing her GCSEs (so older) and yet some mornings she’ll ask if I’ll pop her some toast (or a pop tart lol) in the toaster and I’ll oblige, other days she gets it herself - it’s just helpful. I make her a cup of tea every morning, she offers to make me one every evening - I don’t think she’s lazy for sometimes asking for help so she’s not late no, the same as I’ll ask her to quickly grab me something!!