Checking 17 year olds phone/social media?

[Prettypussy]

Would you do this at this age? Quite surprised to find a friend still checks her dd's phone every night for any inappropriate activity. The girl is in trouble with her parents for re-contacting a boy she has had some issues with in the past. apparently they are furious and going to talk to her later- I can't imagine doing this with my similar age dd anymore.

No way! Thats very invasive.

No. Never have with either ds's. That's because there have never been any need to, no bullying, no nastiness that they couldn't cope with themselves (eg ds2 if he sees any nastiness or too much swearing just leaves the group himself), no issues.

Oh gosh no. I had moved out at that age!

Glad it's not just me thinks it's a bit out of order to be so controlling with an older teen. I might have checked dd's messages occasionally when she was younger- 12/13/14 but not for ages. I mean, she has a boyfriend and surely it is an invasion of privacy once they are 16 or so. I feel she's past the age where I need to look out for bullying and dodgy blokes- surely by 17 you've educated them to look out for the warning signs and to speak up if they are worried about something- when does it end if you still need to monitor them at 17? This family seem very controlling in general and I'm not sure the dd has much privacy in any aspect of her life- just a couple of weeks ago the mum told me she had caught the dd pretending to shower- wtf? Why were they forcing her to shower and why was she in the bathroom checking she was showering?

No not at 17 very suffocating.

At 17 my parents were lucky if they saw me for a couple of hours a week, as I was working full time, had a 2nd job and out clubbing in my free time. I’d regularly not even come home, usually crashing at friends or cousins houses. As it was pre mobile phones they’d be lucky to get any kind of call from me when out let alone insight into my life, unless I wanted them to. That’s not saying we didn’t talk, I’d call them from work & vice versa.

my DDs are not at this age yet, but if I felt I couldn’t trust them to make smart decisions by 17 then I’d failed them. Plus at 17 they fully deserve privacy.

No, but if social media was a thing when I was 17 I’m sure my parents would have checked up on me. I have no respect for their parenting me and try my best to be a better mother and human.

Like pp, I wasn't even living at home at that age, so I wouldn't dream of asking to check.