This is long winded, so bear with me! I’ll start here: Firstly, our house rules have always been no boyfriends in the bedroom, until such time that we believe a solid relationship is happening. Our daughter has not yet had a boyfriend, so it’s never been an issue! So here’s the thing, Our daughter met, and has been very friendly with a non-binary (born female) gay person since just before Christmas. They are very close, and I’ve asked her on more than one occasion if they are in a relationship…to which the answer has always been no.
This person has stayed over a few times, and I’ve reminded daughter of house rules, and asked again if they are in a relationship. She has ‘female’ friends here all the time, and they always share daughters double bed.
Today, daughter admits that her and this person are together, and have been for 3months. Meaning, that she has disregarded our rules, and pretended they are just friends, in order for us to allow sleepovers, just as we have with other friends. We had no reason to believe our daughter was gay, as although no boyfriends before, she’s always shown a strong interest in boys.
So my question I guess is now what?? Do we enforce the house rule, even though 3 months has passed, or do we just accept it and continue as normal..daughter knows she has disappointed us, and has apologised but is sad that I have initially said friend can no longer stay over…just as we would say about a boyfriend.
I don’t want her to be sad, and I want her to enjoy exploring her new (and first relationship) but I don’t believe gender should change my house rules!