Counselling

[Remmy123]

Hi there

my 13 year old seems depressed.

unhappy / hates school / doesn't like his mates/ given up sport / no social life / gaming makes him happy because 'then he doesn't have to think about stuff'

school is the main issue that is making him unhappy (so he tells me) but he can't give me any real reasons. He isn't being bullied.. Ive spoken to various teachers. He does seem to go through friendship groups quickly.

teschers tell me he doesn't try in class often sits there doing nothing

he doesn't care about school / GCSE's nothing!

i want to establish if this is teen hormones (he hasn't started puberty yet but maybe this is the start) or if this is depression.

do you think counselling will help establish this? If so how do I get a good one that's good for this age group?

thanks so much

Counselling might be worth a try but don't give up too much hope. I think it's pretty normal for them to be like this for a while at this age.

Personally I’d act now, get in touch with school. They will have support available and most probably a counsellor. Yes some kids snap out of it but many don’t. Some kids moan a lot but aren’t really that unhappy, some hide how bad it is and I think having someone neutral to talk to might sort out which it is

Thanks both

it's so tricky to know if these is teen stuff or something else!

I'll see if school have anyone

thanks

Have you read Brain Storm by Dan Siegal? It’s about what is happening in the teenage brain and how/why they feel the way they do a lot of the time. I’d read that first and work on some of the stuff in there together.

How is he at regulating his emotions, or how was he as a child? Does he have regular emotions or feelings he de-presses or defends against?

Does he want counselling? I’m a therapist and won’t work with teenagers who don’t want it (ie if only the parents or professionals do) because it wouldn’t be ethical.

Thank you

as a child he never had tantrums etc was very easy in fact and kind and now he doesn't cry he has become emotionless .. may fall out with a friend but doesn't seem to care about anything.

Maybe he isn't showing it. If I try and talk to him he tells me to go away - we used to have a very open relationship.

a few weeks ago he googled clinical depression and said that's that he has. This was directly after a ban from his computer so may have been that 😬 but I'm not sure I can ignore it.

i haven't mentioned him seeing anyone yet as it's been a bit tense this week..

I will definitely take a look at the book - thanks