Best start with a bit of scene setting. DS is in yr 11, up until this year he has plodded along at school, flitted from friend group to friend group and now go a girlfriend and no other friends.
He has always been kind, polite, helpful....until now.
I have always been a firm but fair parent. Last year he had a bit of freedom to go out while the world was a bit quieter, and every time, he ended up vaping or wandering off with others to different places, and not being where I'd asked him to be.
We had large conversations about trust, and safety, and that vaping was dangerous and not ok with me.
He ignored this, so when his vaping created shortness of breath and haemorrhoids I had a serious chat with him, warned him if I caught him again, he would lose him phone and all electronics.
I caught him again, so for a month he lost all his things, hated it, said he'd learnt from it, and he hasn't. he's done it again.
His attitude towards me has changed enormously, he's disrespectful and rude and if I say no to anything he tells me he's going to walk out and go to his girlfriends. He hasn't done this though.
I've explained to him that I'm happy for him to see his girlfriend, but he needs to balance that out with revision for his exams in 3 weeks.
I feel like every conversation is a battle, and I know I need to pick my battles, but its all important right now.
Part of me thinks that my view won;'t make a difference right now, and that he needs to learn for himself, even if that means, getting worse health conditions, or failing exams, and the other half of me feels responsible for stopping these things from happening at all costs.
Help!!!