Freedom

[Nicenails1971]

Is anyone around tonight to calm me down. I lost a baby at 30 weeks and have an 18 year old son who is gay (Only mentioned that because it makes me worry more for his safety) He is extremely previous to me even more so as I've lost a child. He isn't very street wise and went round a friends this evening. I just texted him to find out what time he'll be home and he's told me he's in town at a club. He's never been in town before and I'm so scared for his safety. Im climbing the walls. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

Firstly sorry for your loss

Your son is 18 an adult. The only way he will learn to be safe is to get out and enjoy himself. If he is a sensible lad he will make the right choices for himself.

In the nicest way if your anxiety is that bad then do seek help for yourself.

Try not to worry. The first time dd went to london I had kittens. The second time was a lot easier and so on.

How is he this morning, OP?

Teenagers take risks to learn how to take good decisions. they learn from their mistakes. this is all good development. Something you can do is talk thru with him if there were any dodgy moments, help him to think thru what happened & how he likes to handle those situations. also ask about the fun moments !! Usually stories about other people, and their behaviour.

It's always a bit difficult to let go as your children grow up - it changes from 'can I go' to 'I'm going' and it can make you feel a bit out of control.

The best thing you can do is not to let him know how worried you are - because then he might be tempted to lie about what he's doing to save you the worry of having to think about it.

Keep open, honest communication with him and where he is and when he will be back, and try to keep yourself busy when he's out.

I am so sorry for your loss - perhaps talking to someone (professional, I mean) about it would help?

Worrying about your children is normal at any age - but it should be debilitating.