17 year old DS uniform and appearance at school

[tuliparosa]

DS has been pulled up on his uniform and appearance being not up to standard at sixth from. I’m my opinion he does look a mess. He won’t have a hair cut and he wears non uniform sweatshirts and jewellery which is not allowed. I’m not sure what I can do about it. He’s behaving in lessons and doing well in all his subjects. I’ve obviously spoken to him about towing the line at school and told him he can wear what he wants after school. Don’t think I can do anything else. Why are teenagers so annoying?

They have to be horrible so you can bear to let the newly minted young adult move out....

Also, the changes and rewirings of puberty are as big as in the toddler years, so it's utterly normal to get some challenging times as they exert their new sense of self.

My line on this (with the DC who really took the mickey with the sixth form dress code) was to tell them what I thought was wrong, and that if a teacher sanctioned them, it was their own stupid fault and they were to take the consequences.

Yeah, I agree with AuntieStella puberty is tough.

He will just have to have the consequences if he gets pulled up on it again.

Mine wore the wrong things for sixth form sometimes. I pointed it out, but left it up to the school. I pick my battles and try to prioritise safety/decent behaviour. After a couple of warnings the school made him come in early every day for a week for a uniform check. That seems to have solved the problem as he likes his sleep!

Why does it matter if he has long hair?

I think it’s rubbish they have to wear uniform in sixth form, is this common? Sorry, this doesn’t help you or your son, tell him to beaver away and get good grades so he can go to uni and look like a total scruff and no one will give a monkey’s.

Stay out of it. Let the school deal with it, don't interfere with any punishments they give, but don't punish your son for being in trouble in school over it.
If he's doing the work, keeping academic standards and not being abusive to staff they won't kick him out.
This won't mess up his future.

Agree with other posters. One of mine wore the old style skirt for many years and then adapted a skirt from H&M. Whilst I didn't stop her (because it was barely noticeable) I did say that I wouldn't defend her, she would have to accept any consequences from the school and I would support that.

As it happened, over 5 years only 1 teacher noticed. DD told them it was a second hand skirt and the matter was dropped.

If the school doesn't like it they will ask him to leave. Sixth Form is voluntary so they can pick and choose who they what students they want.
Does he want to be there? If he doesn't want to follow the rules too a place he is at voluntarily then I would say he doesn't. Leave him be.

He's an almost a grown man. Leave him to it.

I can't believe young people are still having to wear uniform at 6th form.

My ds goes to a 6th form college. he wears tatty but comfy joggers, a variety of music themed t shirts and his hair hasn't been cut for 6 months. But he's predicted excellent grades and has a place at his first choice music college next year.