Leaving 2 15yr olds alone for 2 days

[CordeliaBrideshead]

I'm going through a bitter divorce after a very controlling marriage and my Ex has my daughter who is 15, almost 16. This was not agreed but I couldn't stop it. I have our 27yr old son.

She's friends with a younger girl who has just turned 15 but is quite mature.

My daughter hardly speaks or sees me now and it's very upsetting. I'm anxious about losing her completely but she's on Team
Dad and I am the enemy. For now. I'm playing the long game.

I've just heard from my son that my Ex has been away for 2 days and left the girls alone.

I wouldn't have allowed this as the girls are too young and what is to stop them having boys over etc? My Ex wants to do whatever he can to prevent my daughter seeing me and further our divide.

So I'm not sure I can do anything but that makes me feel like a bad mother. Much as being my daughters mother again is but a dream.

My Ex and I aren't speaking. My daughter and I only text but hoping to be able to call her again soon.

Am I being over protective or do you agree?

What would you do next if anything?

What a difficult situation for you!

Your concerns are justified — two 15-year-olds should not be left alone for two days (even one 15-year-old) unless they are known to be highly responsible. There isn’t just the risk of “having boys over” but risks of experimenting with various substances, having other friends come over (invited or not — word spreads quickly and a house without a parent is a magnet for parties), etc.

Sadly, I don’t know what you can do. Does your son have any suggestions? Are their other adults who you know who have better relationships with your daughter (or indeed your ex) who might be a go-between?

Obviously, you can’t change what has already happened (ie undo the two days alone) but hopefully you can find a way to shape policies going forward.

Good luck!