How do you expect your DC to entertain themselves?

[Matchingcollarandcuffs]

DC13 is the youngest has always been v emotional/explosive but currently DH and I are both ill so stuck at home.

He gets vv angry playing on the PS, was on it for 10 hours yesterday so I've said he needs some time away from it today.

He immediately gets hostile and tries to make what he does instead my problem, asking me what he is supposed to do instead. His friends all have football Sundays so he can't meet with them.

AIBU to expect a 13yo to be asked to entertain themselves for a few hours without organising it for him? His older siblings have always managed to entertain themselves, are yours able to manage it too?

They don't know how to entertain themselves without gadgets!

At 13 he is old enough to understand that you are ill. Just leave him to it - he must have some friends that aren't at football all day who he can go out and meet.

If he moans he is bored - find him some jobs to do around the house. That usually makes them go off and find an alternative.

Ask him to cook for you all if you and DH are both ill.

Ihave four dc all teens and yes, they do use a lot of tech to keep occupied especially during the holidays when I am working (single parent, work full time). However they also do a lot that isn't tech focused.
They all cook and bake, the 2 older dc's are brilliant artists so will often be found drawing, painting or sculpting, middle dc meets his friends for a bike rides or if he can't then he is making something in the garage. - last year he made himself a pocket knife for his bushcraft course. Youngest applies and re applies endless amounts of make up, yaks to her friends on the phone or bakes cakes and reads.
In some amazing and rare moments they even play bouard games together.

I would expect a 13 year old to be able to entertain themselves and to also be useful while you are poorly.

I wouldn't personally let 13 year old play for 10 hours though sadly I realise its common.

He needs to move a bit physically every day and he also needs to learn what it is to be bored. If we all keep solving the boredom problem for our kids how will they discover what other hobbies or interests they might enjoy ?

Can he meet friends...go the park...find a youth club....bike on his own around local area ?

I honestly think as parents wr need to leave them to be bored. That is how children and adults do work out how to fill our time

So I managed to to get him off, he came into town to'help' me shop for a couple of hours as I needed to get some meds for DH who has Covid.

I know 10 hours a day isn't great but these are exceptional tones, normally we go out daily but both being ill at the same time is really not helping.

He had arranged to go out with friends this week.

I agree about being bored, has worked well for his siblings but he is just wired so differently.

Find him some work to do around the house/garden?

I told 12 year old Dd that screens weren't going on until 3pm, she went out to the corner shop and bought a cake box, some butter and eggs and made a cake, then she read the hunger games for a couple of hours and she finished it so we watched the film in the evening. I have a 'you can't watch it till you've read it policy' otherwise she'd never get around to reading.

She would spend all day on her laptop drawing if I let her, sometimes it's a case of getting stuff out and leaving it on the side, things she's forgotten about like her sewing machine and when she sees it she'll use it. Or I've got some crossword/ wordsearch type books she wouldn't normally touch them if I suggest she do one even though she lives word puzzles but if I was sat doing one she'd come and join me so sometimes I'll engineer the situation.

Also we have travel versions of games like guess who, connect four, battleships, shut the box and decks of cards sitting around the living room. Games that are quick ie not monopoly or cludeo she'll often grab one and ask me to play (it's just the two of us, if she had a sibling I'd encourage them to play together instead).

Sign him up for the national citizenship programme

I used to find mine jobs to do if they ever said they were bored tbh. This had a twofold benefit as I'd get them to vacuum, clean the bathroom, hang out washing etc but also they really quickly learned never to come to me complaining they were bored

He's 13 salt, unless they offer a younger one?

Or join the local sea cadets/Royal marine Cadets- they run all through the year and also offer affordable courses. Look into it, it's a great opportunity for youngsters. Great fun.

He has books at home I assume. Maybe some volunteer work. Do children still read books for fun?

He is 13 and should not need his parents to entertain him.

House is chock full of books. He will, at a pinch, read books written by footballers.

Def not into cadets.

He knows tomorrow he's got to tidy his room and put his stuff away, that's a start.

I think I'll try a free totally screen free hours tomorrow to hope boredom begets action

How has he managed his time when he was younger?

My teen girls are not great at managing themselves. Eldest has asd and undiagnosed other issues however, which are under investigation.

School suspect ADHD, he definitely has issues with emotion regulation too but that's by the by.

When he was younger he'd play with siblings and I would take him out for multiple walks. And was full time at nursery 8-5:30 5 days a week which suited him much better than being at home