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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Ds and ahem tissues!

21 replies

Sparkles245 · 30/03/2022 17:22

Ds is 16 and over the last few months I’ve found lots of used tissues by his bed. Also sheets are stained at times.
I obviously know what he’s been doing which I know is quite normal but would just like him to clear up after himself!
I had a chat with him asked him to clear up his tissues/ check his sheets and was quite amazed that he didn’t seem in the slightest bit embarrassed! I was kind of dreading the conversation and actually feel quite bemused that he wasn’t.
I guess it’s great he feels quite relaxed with me but there are just some things a mum doesn’t want to see evidence of!
Anyone else had this chat and a similar reaction?

OP posts:
coodawoodashooda · 30/03/2022 17:23

Omg no idea.

katicomps · 30/03/2022 17:23

Teach him how to use the washer and remind him to wash his sheets at weekends.

Stevie6 · 30/03/2022 17:26

Make him strip his own bed and put straight in the washer, don't tidy his room, maybe get a bin by his bed? 3 teenage DSs so know how you're feeling

SoupDragon · 30/03/2022 17:29

Would you like us all to share stories of masturbating teens?

Original poster
Sparkles245 · 30/03/2022 17:31

@soupdragon no that was not my point. I was just amazed how non embarrassed he was! Others have told me their sons have been mortified if the subject has been mentioned.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sparkles245 · 30/03/2022 17:42

@Stevie6 thanks. Yes I’ve told him to do that too!

OP posts:
Silverclocks · 30/03/2022 17:57

I haven't been in my boys' bedrooms since they were about 14yo. They can live in squalour if they like, but I'm not picking up their tissues. Their rooms and their mess are their problem.

Actually, the best bit of parenting I ever did was to establish the habit, from about 5yo, that they strip their beds and put the sheets straight in the washing machine every Monday morning . I have never touched a teenage boy's dirty bedding Grin

Blanketpolicy · 30/03/2022 19:21

ds(18) has a swing lidded bin in his room with a big bright yellow hazard warning label I bought for him to stick on it years ago, when he was a pre teen, as a Christmas present when his room was getting done up.

I go nowhere near his bin and haven't been near his bedding since he was about 14. I have never seen any evidence so he must not be up to anything unlike all your filthy boys.

😇 trots off to write a thread about how to stop teenage boys from taking two or three 15 minute showers in the one day or spending ages in the loo

NrlySp · 30/03/2022 19:30

You might want to have a conversation about porn with him - trafficked women, negative affect in real life relationships and reduced sexual satisfaction in relationships and women as commodities.

Original poster
Sparkles245 · 30/03/2022 20:11

@nrlysp 😳

OP posts:
mymymy0 · 30/03/2022 20:27

@NrlySp

You might want to have a conversation about porn with him - trafficked women, negative affect in real life relationships and reduced sexual satisfaction in relationships and women as commodities.
Odd and unnecessary. He might not even be looking at porn Hmm
HardRockOwl · 30/03/2022 20:51

@NrlySp well that'll certainly cool his ardour Grin

NrlySp · 30/03/2022 21:00

Maybe not @mymymy0 But it’s also quite possible given what’s in the tissues.

HardRockOwl · 30/03/2022 21:07

Anyway OP this stuff is relatively easy to sort. Bin in room. March in there daily and make sure he gets off his bottom and puts tissues in the bin if he hasn't done so already

I'd be less bothered about bed sheets. I change my 15 year olds bed usually and just do it no nonsense. Nothing is going to bite you! I just always make sure it's fresh sheets every week and twice in summer as he gets sweaty. Sometimes I make him strip it.

Only has to be an issue if you make it one

MissMaple82 · 30/03/2022 21:09

@NrlySp

You might want to have a conversation about porn with him - trafficked women, negative affect in real life relationships and reduced sexual satisfaction in relationships and women as commodities.
Always one!
Original poster
Sparkles245 · 30/03/2022 21:13

@MissMaple82 thank you. I’m as sure as I can be he’s not looking at porn.

OP posts:
Lollypop701 · 30/03/2022 21:14

I put hazard tape on sons door and just spray disinfectant spray from door occasionally. He’s usually in bed if there is any daylight (at night he’s in Xbox) so I disinfect him too.. double win. If washing appear in washing basket then I handle with rubber gloves and boil.

Original poster
Sparkles245 · 30/03/2022 21:15

@HardRockOwl thank you 😊
I think he’ll probably bin the tissues after our chat. We’ll see about the bed. I’m guessing he must have felt a bit awkward about the conversation even if he didn’t show it!

OP posts:
ArtVandalay · 30/03/2022 21:16

This is why my boys were washing their own bed linen weekly from the age of 12.

A580Hojas · 30/03/2022 21:18

Good he's not embarrassed. Washing his bedding and tidying his room can be his job from now on (you might need to remind him it's time to strip his bed cos he'll probably conveniently forget about it) absolutely no need whatsoever to start a thread on Mumsnet about it. I'm amazed he got to 16 before this even entered your head.

Chris893 · 20/04/2022 17:29

Hi, You should find that as soon as he finds a loving girlfriend the problem will cure itself. Seriously!

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