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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

How to get a 15 year old to revise?

4 replies

redblonde · 30/03/2022 10:15

I have a 15 year old daughter, just going through year 10 exams. Its probably the first time there has been a really full on week of exams and she is struggling. She is academically OK, so I suspect has had an element of "cruising" through previous tests/exams and thought this week would be easier than it was. She didn't do much revision until close to the exams, and was clearly relying on cramming. This worked for the first couple of days but today she has definitely gone to school hugely underprepared for a physics exam today. Three more exams after that over the next couple of days. We don't want to say anything this week but probably next week we do need to talk to her about how to be better prepared in the future (year 11 GCSE mocks will be before Christmas) I'm just not sure how to approach it?

I see how easily she gets distracted - she will end up binge watching whatever series she is into. She is starting to realise that and therefore has been coming downstairs to do revision the night before the exams. But she will need to learn some self discipline for future exams. She has an Ipad and a phone. At one end of the control spectrum we could say we just take away all access to them until she has done school work/additional revision. At the other end of that spectrum we would expect her to manage that herself. I don't want to treat her like a small child, and I suspect the answer is to ask her what she wants. She does, like many teenagers, have a slight habit of pushing back on any "helpful" suggestion we might make - and the more we "suggest" often the more she resists. We've had many conversations in the past where I gently suggest doing some revision and she says she will do it "later" and it either doesn't happen or happens with minimal effort.

I feel I'm too soft on her a lot of the time, and sometimes I will admit it will be to avoid a conflict. I "sell" it to myself as the fact that she has to learn from her mistakes but there is definitely an element of conflict avoidance going on in my head! Should I be tougher? Restrict access to Ipad until after school work is done (she will immediately say she needs it to access inline learning resources which has some truth in it)

I know none of you know her but I would be really interested to hear how much involvement other parents have in their teen's school work. She is an only child if that makes a difference!

Thanks

OP posts:
Alcoh · 30/03/2022 10:18

15 year old DS about to start end of year exams after Easter holidays. We went to WHSmith together and he chose the stuff he needed. I checked his exam boards and bought him revision guides in the key subjects. He sits and does 2-3 hours everyday then goes out with mates. Now he’s on his own. I don’t nag him.

oldestmumaintheworld · 30/03/2022 10:28

We had this with one of our children and decided that she needed to feel what not studying felt like and not doing well in exams. It was very hard, but did the trick. However, this was during mock exams and because she did so badly we were able to get a tutor involved (with her agreement). Having a tutor and regular study sessions three times a week made such a difference.
Having discussed this with her recently with the distance of several years and a good university degree, she feels that she needed to have had good studying habits established much, much earlier.
We did put a completely different regime in place for her younger sibling. He had to study downstairs in the kitchen from 6.30 - 7.30/8.00 every evening from year 7 onwards. By year 10 he was in much better shape for studying and could be left on his own.
We also changed our habits and didn't have the tv on whilst he was studying, but created a quiet family reading time with quiet music. Phones in a basket in the hall for everyone.

waterrat · 30/03/2022 11:35

I think it's unrealistic to expect a 15 yesr old to completely control their own habits like phone and TV use. She needs some external imposition of discipline...why not sit down with her and agree some hard limits on screen time and then be strict after she has had buy in.

I do think it's a bit unfair to take the soft approach when even us adults find self control hard.

teenagersaaaaahhhh · 31/03/2022 01:44

I've been trying to back off because of too many arguments, I thought she will learn after a few bad grades that she needs to do more. It hasn't worked, she was upset about the bad grades but still didn't revise properly for the next two tests🙄
I think I will have to take her phone away she's too easily distracted.
If you find the answer please let me know!
DH says it's her life, we can't force her but if we don't try then what??
She's also been working on her laptop in her room which she never did before and I've just found out has been watching very unsuitable stuff, I wish I could trust her but I just can't
She thinks I'm a control freak but what choice do I have?

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