Support thread on Mother's Day for those with difficult teens

[Lacrossefan1]

It sounds silly, but I’ve woken up feeling sad at the state of affairs in my life. It’s as if Mother’s Day is highlighting how sad things are at the moment, and I’m getting pangs off nostalgia about how things were even just a few years ago. I have 1 teen who is going through a completely horrible and selfish phase at the moment. Relationship with both me snd DH isn’t good, and she is completely addicted to her phone, Which means she won’t have even thought of getting anything for me. Just a card, or some chocolate would be nice. Also have a slightly older teen who usually is lovely but significantly depressed at the moment and is understandably not in the right headspace to have thought of anything for me.
Anyone else want to join me in my self pity?
Or any stories of hope from mums who’ve been through these stages and now have older teen or young adult children who make some sort of effort on Mother’s Day now? Or any other advice at all will be gratefully received

Support and handholding I have a difficult teenage who has me in tears most days. They did give me a card this morning and I was so grateful, but last year I got nothing at all

Sending a hug 🤗
My eldest age 14 has asd and mh problems. So far has sworn loudly in my ear demanding me to help her do something she can do for herself.
Refuse to turn the music down on the Tv. No one else gets a look in on Tv plus her music taste leaves a lot to be desired as there is only do much rap I can manage to listen to each day. Refused to go for a walk and lunch out and she cant be left at home on her own due to above issues. So we are currently stuck in. With loud rap on and her swearing every five mins. Telling me i am a jerk.

and for you op, nice idea.

I have one lovely child of 16 and one utterly selfish 18yo so can sympathise. It can be really hurtful when we put so much effort in to make their lives easier.
We can only hope they turn into nice adults, and find a way of treating yourself to something you’d like in the meantime.

Just seen this thread as I'm sitting alone in my car. Felt so down I just needed to get out so went for a drive and sat in the car people watching with a takeaway coffee. Not the best idea as lots of families out together.

It really wasn't so bad and I'm just being self-pitying. Teen DD made a hasty card this morning and DH bought a bunch of flowers and bottle of wine for her to give to me whilst we were shopping together yesterday. Last year I had nothing so an improvement!

It's just been really hard lately and I organise everything for all of us all year round, so I would just love it if they planned something for me on this one day a year. We only ever do anything for Mothers Day or my birthday if I arrange and book it. Last straw today was my DH asking if I wanted a cup of tea or had I planned anything - hence I left them to it for a bit to have some time to myself.

It doesn't help that my mum died a few years ago and my sister in 2020, so all I can think about today is lovely Mothers Days in the past when my mum was here and we'd do something special for her. When my DD was little it was lovely too.

Oh well, it's just a day isn't it? Tomorrow everything will be normal and we'll all plod on taking care of everyone.

Eldest DC has barely acknowledged my existence today, but that's normal recently. Unless she wants something from me, of course! Younger dc have been great tho. I've decided to not let it bother me. At 19, it's obviously a passive aggressive decision.

I’m glad I saw this thread as besides the fact that the three of us have had Covid this week, ds never gets me anything by himself and husband doesn’t encourage him to do so. If I wasn’t stuck in I’d be out at the irk with my coffee too!

I've just spotted this thread and I'm so grateful it was started.

My teen dd did not remember it is mothers day. This is the second year without a card. She is not being pleasant to her younger siblings (who made a real fuss of me this morning) either. We went for a walk and there was a lot of bickering between her and her much younger db. In fact, she has said some pretty vile things today and it makes me want to weep as I have been the scaffolding for her over the years (she is awaiting mh assessment and possible diagnosis).

It's just been really hard lately and I organise everything for all of us all year round, so I would just love it if they planned something for me on this one day a year. We only ever do anything for Mothers Day or my birthday if I arrange and book it.

Yep, I totally get this. My birthday is looming and I'm already planning how I'm going to spend the day. I've ordered myself some treats and intend to go out by myself for lunch. It really isn't as sad as it sounds as I will be spending the majority of the day doing what I want to do instead of catering for everyone elses needs. Anything else that happens (in a nice way) is an added bonus and the horrible feeling of disappointment is vastly reduced.

Sorry for your losses whathojeeves.

@PDJamesstrikesagain and @WhatHoJeeves, that was the bit that got me too - how we organise and care for and anticipate the needs of all of them all year, just to have a ‘thank you, love you mum’ and some recognition of some sort for one day would be lovely.
Ah well, next year…

Hugs to all of you struggling on with difficult teens at the moment. 5 years ago, I had no idea how difficult this phase of being a mother would be.
Here’s hoping that we all experience better mothers days in the future!

My dd did get a card and gift (dh dragged her out just before the shops closed on Sunday afternoon and it took her until 8pm to write the card. I feigned delight and surprise but inside just felt numb to it all. Remembering happy Mother's days of the past kills me.

I blame myself of course.