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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

aibu here?

5 replies

Threecrookedhearts · 24/03/2022 17:15

OK, I'd just another perspective here please. It's to do with my 2 kids aged 12 and 14 so hope this is the right topic. My stbxh left me for ow at the end of January. I had no clue and although he's the one that's had an affair and abandoned me and the kids (moved 100 miles away so they've only seen him 4 times in 2 months and he hardly ever calls them) he's really angry with me and trying to hurt me even more than he already has. One way of him doing this is by blocking me from our family phone account. I have a free sim with a virgin media bundle (til August) and the kids both have payg sims with virgin. My stbxh also has a payg sim. We're all on the same account although me and the kids are all under one account number and stbxh is on another but it all uses his email address and he's the account holder. So, he's now changed the password to the account so I can't access it and can't see who kids (or him for that matter) call. I also can't see if they have reached their data limit (something I keep an eye on). Stbxh accused me of doing something with the account a couple of weeks ago (I honestly didn't and told him this) but he's got it into his head that I'm controlling them and that - in his words - he's going to control their phones from now on. I feel as the resident parent (they will live with me 100% of the time) that I should be able to access their accounts. It was my plan to get me and the kids off his account onto my own but me and stbxh need to be in the same room to do this annoyingly and that's not happened. He intially agreed to this but virgin were making it less than easy and now he's got all paranoid as DD doesn't want to talk to him and he's doing this to hurt me. I was actually paying for their phones myself so in a way I'm now saving the £11 a month as he's changed it to his bank details. Would this bother you or not? Should I just let him have this one as I have far greater battles ahead!

OP posts:
Daisy62 · 24/03/2022 17:43

If you're no longer paying for their phones on the Virgin account, why not just start again with new sims or phones for them and pay for those instead.

Changethetoner · 24/03/2022 17:50

I was thinking that too - surely the children haven't had their phone numbers for long - start over for them at least. Regain control.

Threecrookedhearts · 24/03/2022 17:55

I did say that to stbxh when he told me this 2 wks ago. My DS has had his number 4 yrs but DD not very long. That's what I was thinking of doing but ex said that was me being controlling. He's started saying he left cos he wasn't happy, then it was the way I talking to him and now it's because I was controlling so I'm just really to check that if I do that it's not me being 'controlling'. I just think as their mum I should be able to access their phone account.

OP posts:
TwoDaysOff · 24/03/2022 18:06

Superdrug sim. £10 per month. Text pac tomyour current provider and then port their phone number. Takes seconds to get up an account, the less than 2 days to port the number. Use their old sim until you get an email saying number has switched . Make sure to save contacts to the handset before switching rather than save to sim.

Threecrookedhearts · 24/03/2022 19:06

DS just upgraded his data deal so has to pay for 18 months. Oh well stbx will have to continue paying!

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