Advice

[Newusernameforthis123]

Our 16 year old son has just told us that he is gay.II am lying awake at night worrying about him. know times are changing but I still think it's a tough life.
My son is an incredibly positive person and he thinks that his life and future career won't be affected.We are very proud of him .He is very ambitious and it seems like nothing will stand in his way.

We still live in a world where were my son can't travel freely. Our own prime minister has made homophobic remarks in the past. Half the cabinet hold Thatcher up as their reason for becoming interested in politics. She was responsible for section 28..

I hear low level homophobic remarks regularly, have things really changed?. If so how does a prime minister who has made such remarks have an 80 seat majority.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I think your sons generation will see things very differently to you
Good luck to him. He will be fine. I hope you aren't projecting your worry onto him.
I know LOTS of gay people. In all walks of life, jobs,, family settings.
I believe things are very different in society now

Gosh, I think you are massively over-reacting, and I'm worried your attitude will rub-off badly on him.

Being gay has got absolutely nothing to do with how successful a person can be - where on Earth are you living to have this attitude?

I live in a city in the South East and have two DCs in their late teens. In my DD15's friendship group there are three bisexual girls, two bisexual men and six heterosexuals. No one bats an eyelid.

DD15 came out as "three-quarters gay" last year. I embraced it, as it explained a lot. My DH was a bit taken aback but is now completely on board with it.

Don't worry and be as loving to your son as you were before!

His life won't be affected anything like as badly as you presume, things really have changed a lot. There will always be dickheads who will find something to be angry & pick on him about, but that's because they are unhappy & probably gay or bi themselves & too scared to come out of that closet. I've known many like that in my time. I also know lots of gay & lesbian couples in as many shades of family life as you see in the "straight" world.

Be proud that your DS felt confident coming out to you, you've done well as I know very adult men & women who never felt able to do that & it badly affected their relationship with DPs & them too tbh, sometimes badly so.

Tread carefully now, this isn't a choice he had to make, this is him accepting who he is at this moment in time, sometimes that changes as they age, usually it doesn't. Don't let him feel your disappointment as it tells him you are disappointed in him for being brave enough to be who he is

It will be okay, I promise

I can only echo what pp have said. I think you're massively overthinking what his future will be like. It's a different world. My brother came out at 17 and that's twenty years ago now. Being gay hasn't negatively impacted his working life, his social life, or his relationships. It doesn't define who he is as a person. Employers don't judge him on his sexual preferences because it in no way affects his ability to do his job.

I know it must have come as a bolt from the blue, but the future you think he'll have is nowhere near as bleak as you're imagining.

Thank you all for the advice. I know you are all taking total sense of course but yet look at the man the country has chosen as PM. We judge other countries by their choice of leader.
I feel things have almost gone backwards in the last 10years (despite the introduction of gay marriage).You only have to look at the treatment of the gay men and their families who were murdered in East London. My son's will be highly educated and we are lucky enough to live a very affluent life but this country in my opinion is not a good place to be for all gay people.

My son is a very handsome confident boy and he knows we will support him always. I am very proud of him not just because he felt able to tell me but because of the wonderful man that he is becoming. He loves who he is so I must have done something right.

I think that people are blind to the difficulties gay people face in the UK @Newusernameforthis123.
You're spot in what you say , I am hopeless when it comes to tech so I was unable to add the link. I've screenshot an article from Stonewall.

Your concerns are not unfounded @Newusernameforthis123 this is the country we live in.

It makes sober reading.

The reality of being gay in Britian is very different from the people would like you to believe OP. There is a group in London which helps parents and it may help you to talk to others in your situation.
Your son is lucky to have such supportive parents but I agree things are moving backwards.
Sadly most people live in the real world, times really have not changed that much.

Thank you @Whocanthatbeatthistimeofnight.
I think people are trying to be kind when they say everything will be fine, this generation is different.... It does as you say make sober reading.

@Whocanthatbeatthistimeofnight I have a gay sibling. I'm bisexual myself. My eldest child is also bisexual. I can tell you that it has never been an issues for any of us - and it's 20 years since my brother came out.