Activities for shy, sensitive 13 year old

[FramptonRose]

I am hoping someone can help.
We really want to find an activity for my DD to do afterschool, we have been through a few before, she is not massively into sports but I am finding she is now at the point where she is coming home, homework, no massive interaction with friends, although she does have a decent friendship group.

Her brothers do loads and I have found sometimes we have been so busy with them, she has gotten into the habit of just coming home, doing homework and sitting watching rubbish on the TV.

She says she does want to do something and I think it would be good for her to have a friendship group outside school.

Rangers?

Or is it venture scouts? I am trying to think of what comes after Guides.

My 13 year old with a similar temperament goes to guides, although she does go with a friend.

Archery, canoeing, orienteering more individual activities done alongside others. Volunteering- Riding for the disabled take from 12 years old. St John's ambulance youth wing. Police youth wing, cadets, all quite structured but less sporty.

Karate could be good. My dd is doing it, they progress through the early stages without fights (so not massively sporty, just performing set, technical moves) you will meet a wide age range of boys and girls and it's great for discipline and confidence.

Art club

My daughter's similar, but it gets harder to start things when you're a bit older. Agree karate could be a good one, especially if she is into Japanese things, my dd did that for a bit, but her heart wasn't really in it. She also did guides, but joined much younger. It depends what your dd is interested in and what she would be willing to give a go. She could in theory join guides if you could find a nice group, for another year, and then join rangers or volunteer as a young leader.
Another idea is a musical instrument - she could start lessons with school or privately, and then join your local music centre. This is the one thing my dd loves and has stuck with, even though she's not that interested in playing the instrument, she really enjoys the social side.

I did drama as a very unsporting teen and loved it so much. It has a really sociable aspect and there are so many different roles . If she hates performing she could do backstage work.

Also worth looking to see if there is a youth club nearby ?

Thank you so much for the replies.

We signed her up for guides a few years ago, a place came up, she was due to start, then lockdown happened, they closed for ages, then only returned online and have actually only recently gone back but only once a month, so nor really sure its worth it for her now.

Karate, I would love for her to do it and think she would enjoy it but she doesn't seem to want to go, I am going to ask her again, to see if she wants to.

We did drama school for a few years which she did like but her confidence has taken a downturn in the past year, it seems she is just so aware of herself now, and so anxious about the way people see her, if that makes sense!

Thank you for all of the suggestions, I am going to sit with her tomorrow and go through the suggestions and see what she thinks.

Young explorers? (Scouts). It starts age 14 so she won’t be the only new one.

I totally understand re confidence and drama. What I would say is that the lovely thing about drama is that it is a boundaries situation with rules and everyone has to put themselves in the same vulnerable situation. Which is why I think it can be good.

Horse riding or something with animals, even offering to walk a neighbours dog.

Can she do Duke of Edinburgh with school?
An art club at an arts centre
Martial arts are good for confidence but less so for socialising as they are concentrating on the lesson
Air cadets or St Johns Ambulance?
Trampolining?
What clubs does her school offer?

Church groups are very caring and supportive. You don’t have to be a Christian to go.

Coding, riding with the disabled?

How about swimming club or junior life guard sessions? My DD likes both as there's enough social interaction but not enough to be overwhelming. You can't have a clique in a swimming pool

Teen yoga classes too

Cadets - army, sea or air. Twice a week. Lots of opportunities to build friendships and she can be busy every weekend if she wants to. They do so many different activities - it’s very varied. My DD joined at 14 and loved it.

Thank you all

She has started trampolining this week which she absolutely loved, thank goodness.

I do also have her down to do a special course with our local farm which teaches them all about the animals, mucking out, feeding them etc, although we are on a waiting list for that.

I think she would love Cadets too, trying to see if there is anything local as she is so much happier when she is busy and has stuff to do, I think she just gets herself in a rut!

@FramptonRose its harder as they get older convincing them to try things, especially if they don't know anyone there or they feel like others will have done it for years. Great she enjoyed trampolining.

That's great about the trampolining and yes, army cadets is really good, my dd did this for a time and I forgot to mention it, they keep them really busy with cheap residentials etc.