Wanting others thoughts
My Dd is aged 14 , bf same . Been together 4 months , friends before .
It's been v difficult , her behaviour has been v challenging . Arguments , leaving house , violence to us when boundaries are set . Suicide attempts
Also not good behaviour with bf , cheating on him , falling outs .
We have worked through so much now and things are calm , she is also receiving counselling.
Last week her bf defied his parents and sneaked out from grandparents when grounded . His dad tracked him down with my Dd . She had told me they were meeting and i knew where they were.
His dad who my Dd had not met previously found them and told his son he was going to "f him up in front of his girl " before ordering both of them in his car and laying into his son in front of my Dd . Verbal threats . My Dd said she was terrified and got out the car , bf dad asked " where the f u going " she said " im not staying listening to this " he shouted " stay away from my f son "
She was angry upset and worried .
They go to school together so I knew realistically they would get back . Bf initially said they had to break up because it was dangerous for him to see her .
I told her that she had to listen to what his dad had said but to let me know if anything changed . Wr are working on trust and honesty .
Two days later she told me they are together in school , exclusive , and they walk home together and I pick her up .
His dad doesn't live with his son and his mum works so Bf realistically had times when he isn't under has parents eyes .
Ideally I would like to say you arnt seeing him again but that will only lead to return of lying and her disappearing but if I ban her .
I've said although his dad is clearly not nice ( SS are involved ) bf should listen and do what his parents have told him too .
Am I doing the right thing by not banning her but keeping a watchful eye of them together ?