AIBU about friends coming over

[Stressymum1]

My 15 year old son has had friends over this weekend, one who just invited himself.
I'm normally fine about it and make a point of being really friendly to them.
However this time , I'm feeling a bit fed up and put on. I have meals arranged and then have to find something to feed them. I then have to take them home, today his friend wanted to be dropped off at football.
I know my son would not be able to go to their homes without an invite.

My husband doesn't see what the problem is. He is happy for him to have his friends over, (as am I with prior warning). I just don't want to be a taxi service.
My son says it's not his fault as they invite themselves over.

I'm usually very tolerant, it maybe my age that is making me feel like this, Im not sure if I should be more amiable

You sound like a doormat with all the lifts.

Sleepover is one thing. Feeding extras when they're at yours is also to be expected. But lifts - say no. Tell them parents will need to collect them.

The problem isn’t your sons friends, the problem is you using your voice! Tell them what you will or won’t accept! Tell them they have to chip in towards food, or eat before they come round, and tell them no more lifts!

Ds used to have a regular visitor. I made pasta bake. He had money for sweets / chippy. And never gave lifts.
Left them to it.
Maybe is ds sees he is hosting he will say no more readily.

If you can't feed them or provide lifts, then openly say so. Or tell DS friends have to leave before dinner. You don't have to bend over backwards to accommodate them.

Pertained if someone invited themselves to my house there would be no 'have to' take them home... If they go somewhere with no thought how to get home that's... consequences and they need to learn those to make better choices. I might if I was feeling generous give them snacks /share family dinner but I wouldn't put myself out to the extent I was annoyed about it for a self invited guest.

I always have a house full, mainly in the garden cabin. I'd rather they have friends round than not know where they are.

There is always bags of nuggets and chips in the freezer, super noodles in the cupboard.

Everyone always says hello and goodbye. I'd never cater for them or taxi for them though and they have to tidy up behind them including any rubbish.

Maybe let DS know you won't be making extra at dinner times, his will be saved for when his friends leave and no more lifts home and see how that goes? It's your home first and all that.

So have a discussion with your son and say “you need to check with me before inviting people over”

When I was younger i had a friend who would always invite themselves over and out stay their welcome. Turned out they were experiencing abuse at home and my house was their safe space. Not saying that's what happening here but it's always something in the back of my mind now my DC are older. I would always want to be that safe space if needed.

I've told my son now , no one is coming over unless I know about it. I'm happy to feed them if I know.