Page 2 | Dd crippling anxiety languages oral exam

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 2022-03-16T21:10:18+00:00

What do l do? She won’t go to school because of fear of this. She has bad anxiety, is often mute in presence of adults, but has told me she just can’t do this. I’ve contacted school, have tried encouraging her, offering hypnosis, everything, but she is just too scared. What happens in these situations? She’s worked hard on all the other areas, but this is one step too far for her. She had to choose a language in Y9.

Mossstitch · 17/03/2022 15:14

The Bach's flower remedies (rescue remedy being the most well known) have explanations on Internet of all the various ones and which personality/situation they suit. One called Mimulas got me through university presentations and aural exams in my 40s. (although barely with the first two😬, I won't suggest what I did for the first one at college when doing the access course, let's just say we went to the pub for lunch) She has my sympathy, I failed the two O levels that had aural parts (I'm old, in those days it was 40% of the mark). I didn't have any support whatsoever from parents or school, I'm glad times have changed for the better! It doesn't get any easier I'm afraid, I'm now in my 60s and would still freak out at having to do a presentation even though I am in a professional career but you just learn to handle it/blag it😕

Lovemusic33 · 17/03/2022 15:23

My dd was really anxious about the speaking part of her exam (German), luckily her teacher was lovely and started preparing her a long time before the exam and did some 1:1 practice sessions with her. She still found it uncomfortable but managed to do it, without it she would have failed the subject as she wasn’t that great at languages anyway.

School should be doing more prep with her and reassuring her. I think she won’t be the only one to be really anxious about it.

Clarabe1 · 17/03/2022 15:27

Oh it’s horrid isn’t it! I remember the oral exam and I felt sick. As others have said though she will have to do this in the future though. Job interviews, presentations etc. It really will hold her back if she cannot make some progress with public speaking. I feel for her because you cannot help being scared but if she can make just a bit of progress rather than going down the avoidance route it will make her life easier in the long run. Good luck

converseandjeans · 17/03/2022 15:48

DOlphine

Sack off Spanish GCSE. Not worth it - who honestly uses GCSE level language?

This is why students don't respect language learning. I've never used my maths skills - except mean/median/percentage and could on that basis have stopped maths beyond year 7!

I would make a bit of a fuss to be honest though if it's stopping her even going into school. Maybe look into getting a medical note.

dizzydizzydizzy · 17/03/2022 15:58

I can's believe PPs are saying nobody used foreign languages. I use mine frequently for holidays and work. And languages are not just for practical purposes - they can also be for fun.

And as for not using maths...the Mind boggles!!!' What about understanding loans? Or you want to convert a recipe to 1.5 quantity? Or you want to find out what a 20% discount is? Or you want to compare the cost of a journey by train vs car?

Lovemusic33 · 17/03/2022 16:27

@dizzydizzydizzy

I can's believe PPs are saying nobody used foreign languages. I use mine frequently for holidays and work. And languages are not just for practical purposes - they can also be for fun.

And as for not using maths...the Mind boggles!!!' What about understanding loans? Or you want to convert a recipe to 1.5 quantity? Or you want to find out what a 20% discount is? Or you want to compare the cost of a journey by train vs car?

I agree, it’s always good to speak another language even if it’s just enough to get by when your on holiday (ordering food, asking for help if lost etc..). Also….most people use maths every day, whilst cooking, whilst shopping, organising bills, tax returns, measuring up for carpet etc..etc.., maths is really important.

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 17/03/2022 19:02

Op: Do you know what it is about the oral that scares her? Is it just generally having to do a presentation in front of people or is it specifically related to talking in a foreign language? I speak English as my mother tongue but also speak fluent German. The issues relating to standing up and talking in your mother tongue are very different (especially at her age) to talking in your mother tongue.

MaizeAmaze · 17/03/2022 19:15

What year is she in? 10 or 11?
If she is selectively mute, I would either score 0 on the speaking part, and see what grade she gets with the other bits, or not enter the Spanish exam.
Does she ever speak to teachers at school? Has she ever spoken in a Spanish lesson?

If she is very shy and quiet, some of the anxiety reducing suggestions above are well worth trying.

OutlookStalking · 17/03/2022 19:19

My autistic daughter wouldn't do this either. At her school they're heavily encouraged to choose a language but jot forced and this is the sole reason she hasn't chosen a language.

She is incredibly bright, hard working, but asked specifically if she would have to speak/do an oral for the gcse and ruled it out.

MacavityTheDentistsCat · 17/03/2022 19:19

Sorry, I meant to say " are very different ... to talking in a foreign language."

GCAutist · 17/03/2022 19:27

So I have selective mutism (if only I could select when it happens!) and for my French verbal exam at gcse level I memorised a script, I preempted all the kinds of questions they’d ask and basically answer first eg I like to eat a cheese sandwich, what foods do you like? And then pick one of their choices to say oh I like/don’t like that, I prefer something else. I did it over and over, make a a well rehearsed statement with a slightly more complex sentence structure and then ask them a question so that I led the conversation and worked it according to the script I’d devised. They did ask a few questions by I made sure I’d offered the info about the hardest or most complex ones first so they could only ask the easy questions. It worked for me right through university too!

Original poster

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 17/03/2022 20:19

Thank you for all the replies. The school have been in touch and have asked for a doctors letter and then she won’t have to take the oral exam. The gp will support us with this. She has struggled with teachers/doctors all her life.

I don’t think she could memorise anything she’s too scared to think clearly. Fingers crossed for the gp🤞🏻

OP posts:

converseandjeans · 17/03/2022 20:27

And as for not using maths...the Mind boggles!!!' What about understanding loans? Or you want to convert a recipe to 1.5 quantity? Or you want to find out what a 20% discount is? Or you want to compare the cost of a journey by train vs car?

Yes to be fair that's right. I probably meant GCSE level maths. Usually everyone is obsessed with maths & English but make out that languages are pointless. I'm just a bit sad at how unvalued languages are.

EmpressCixi · 18/03/2022 10:51

@ArseInTheCoOpWindow

Thank you for all the replies. The school have been in touch and have asked for a doctors letter and then she won’t have to take the oral exam. The gp will support us with this. She has struggled with teachers/doctors all her life.

I don’t think she could memorise anything she’s too scared to think clearly. Fingers crossed for the gp🤞🏻

I’m glad they are accommodating her and letting her skip the oral part with no impact to her GCSE grade. They’re required to under the disability act as anxiety/selective mutism definitely are disabilities, but it’s nice that the school isn’t fighting you tooth and nail not to accommodate her.