Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

DS and sexism - how would you educate?

18 replies

noahsarch · 15/03/2022 18:54

My DS had got in trouble today at school for expressing the following:-

-men are stronger than women

  • men are responsible for the top 100 inventions
  • women don't deserve to be educated
  • women are good only for baby making

He has apologised for the last two and admits he was wrong to say these things and said them in anger when it escalated into an argument with his teacher...

But I feel he needs to be educated because I'm horrified he could even come out with this stuff.

Any ideas / resources please? Please don't pile on, I'm really upset.

OP posts:
Toomanyradishes · 15/03/2022 19:00

How old is he and are you sure you are fully aware of whats hes seeing online, sounds like he could be straying into some of the shitty stuff on reddit etc

Honestly there is so much he is not taking into account here and i would feel at a loss where to start because there are really horrible views. I also wouldnt discount his last two points just because he apologised, its quite possible he believed them deep down, as he appears to have a fundamental contempt for women

In terms of the top 100 inventions you could get him to research famous and less famous inventions by women etc

Is his dad around? Whats he like? Unfortunately if he has no respect for women he may not be willing to listen to you and you need to get some positive male role models on his life to help as well

CatsArePeople · 16/03/2022 11:19

He's not wrong about No.1 though.
The rest... where did he get it from and is it some form of anti-woke protest?

JorisBonson · 16/03/2022 11:21

The last 2 are classic incel views. How old is your son?

lljkk · 17/03/2022 14:41

How did this argument start? What was the initial conflict about?

Harlequin1088 · 17/03/2022 14:49

Christ.

I’m not surprised you’re mortified.

As others have said, get to the bottom of what he’s viewing online as there’s some really alarming corners of the internet where incels lurk and misogyny is rife. It starts off as a mild irritation towards women and ends in rape/assault/murder. These needs nipping in the bud now.

Also the film Suffragette is very good and has some good bits in there highlighting women’s struggles. Maybe make him watch that with you and discuss it together afterwards?

EwwSprouts · 17/03/2022 14:50

I would ensure he does weekly chores around the house & proper ones like cleaning the bathroom. It starts with respecting you as a female and he needs to contribute to the family 'team'.

A long brutal chat about it takes two to make a baby, lifelong responsibility, respect and enthusiastic consent.

I would also sit him down to watch Hidden Figures which is about the early women at NASA and use it as a talking point about sexism and racism because that the way he's heading.

OnTheBenchOfDoom · 18/03/2022 07:45

I would be taking a good hard look at his internet history. You have to wonder if he really does believe the last 2 or if he just said that to appease you.

Also his friendship groups.

Fizzgigg · 18/03/2022 07:48

Hidden Figures is a great shout actually

QuinkWashable · 18/03/2022 07:53

Review what he's watching on youtube - sounds like he's been watching some dodgy stuff.

mind you, the first one is true.

The second isn't, and is easily demonstrated with a quick google - but TBH, if he's being indoctrinated, that probably won't make a dent.

the last two obviously are just plain rude and misogynistic, and I would suggest worthy of some kind of sanctions/punishment.

Polyanthus2 · 18/03/2022 08:55

The 100 inventions could proabanly apply to white men - not so many black men - would be like to ponder that fact? And the reasons behind it.

Thisismynamenow · 22/03/2022 08:57

@QuinkWashable

Review what he's watching on youtube - sounds like he's been watching some dodgy stuff.

mind you, the first one is true.

The second isn't, and is easily demonstrated with a quick google - but TBH, if he's being indoctrinated, that probably won't make a dent.

the last two obviously are just plain rude and misogynistic, and I would suggest worthy of some kind of sanctions/punishment.

The first one is absolutely not true.

What you are thinking is SOME men are stronger than SOME women.

Are you saying a 5ft 2 man who doesn't lift or work out is stronger than a 5ft 10 woman who does?

Just because historically women have been seen weaker than men doesn't make it true

Lastqueenofscotland · 23/03/2022 12:31

I’d be coming down like a tonne of bricks for this to be honest.
I work in a VERY male industry (construction) and comments like that would result in instant dismissal. Even in the heat of an argument
I’d have a serious chat with him about what he’s viewing (has he stumbled across some incel shite?) and also the consequences of comments like that in his future life

janice75 · 25/03/2022 23:32

This reply has been deleted

This post has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

SoyaChai · 26/03/2022 01:26

Men are generally stronger than women. Yes, some women can be stronger than some men, but the strongest man will always be stronger than the strongest women. This is why sex-segregated sports are a thing...

I think you need to take a look at what he is looking at online

TulipsGarden · 26/03/2022 01:43

I would take a very close look at his browsing history, and restrict/ban internet usage for a long time.

I wouldn't go softly on this - the beliefs he develops now will stick with him through his life. By all means watch films with him and educate him on history, but you also need some very serious talks and to ensure there's no-one he's close to with these beliefs.

sashh · 26/03/2022 04:48

How old is DS? If you are only good to make baby's then he can start doing his own washing, cooking, cleaning etc

-men are stronger than women - it depends how you measure strength, we have traditionally measured it in terms of male strength but when you look at less traditional measures it isn't true, women perform better than men in ultra marathons.

Women outperformed males in the NASA tests to put someone on the moon. They had to keep putting barriers in the way until they eventually just banned women from Space.

  • men are responsible for the top 100 inventions which are? Marie Curie got 2 nobel prizes and her work formed the basis of radiography and cancer treatment, 2 pretty important things.

Ada Lovelace was the first computer programmer, she created programs without a computer and prophesised the use of computers outside mathematics.

The system used to book flights is written in a language named after her.

Grace Hopper invented a computer language that was later developed into COBOL, one of the first high level programming language, you also invented 'de bugging'. Oh and she was an admiral.

  • women don't deserve to be educated, well go and live without computers, X-rays, radiotherapy, circular saw, ice cream, fire escapes, syringes... How much more advanced would out society be if we had started educating women earlier?
  • women are good only for baby making, women can do everything men can and still have babies. What are men good for?
PickySlackTastic · 26/03/2022 04:59

Is he in year 10? That sounds like classic year 10 chat. Trying to get attention by saying provocative shit in front of girls.

I'd just ignore it to be honest.

Turningpurple · 26/03/2022 05:00

That's really concerning. You don't become sexist when angry. It's already there. How old is he?

How have you handled this in the past? This can't be the first time you have discussed sexisim.

We teach our sons by it being a life long lesson. All the time. Watching what is said, discussions, ensuring they know about women's history and they learn about sexism now and how it impacts us all.

You challenge toxic masculinity whenever it rears its head and talk about out. I am talking about when other people display it, talk about why it's wrong. Challenge it in your own household. Challenge it outside the household.

Definitely check his Internet history. And them take a long look at the adult males in his life and see what Influence they have.

Sounds like he really needs ro spend time learning about sexisim, the impacts it has had and reading history that's focused on women's achievements.

Where did he get this top 100 list?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page