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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

What time would you leave a 14 year old home alone til?

13 replies

whereiscaroline · 03/03/2022 21:46

DP and I are due to go for a night out this Saturday and I'm a bit nervous about leaving DS14 until late. DS is fine with it, doesn't want to invite a friend over, nor does he want to go and stay elsewhere.

He's 14, 15 in June. But he has been prone to anxiety in the past when at home alone, albeit over 2 years ago now. Last summer we left him til 10.30pm, he had taken himself off to bed with the dog and was fast asleep when we got in.

What time would you think is reasonably the latest you would come home?

OP posts:

lljkk · 03/03/2022 21:50

Mine would be fine all night...
14 is not 12, he's been fine last year, too.

Assuming he says he's "not buvvered" now, I'd plan for midnight & not worry if problems arose & I was out later.

Send him a message if going to be > 30 minutes later than you meant as very latest.

FrangipaniBlue · 03/03/2022 21:52

We're going to a wedding in a couple weeks and DS(14) will be home alone (except for dog) until around 12.30/1am.

Loopytiles · 03/03/2022 21:53

2am?

BurntO · 03/03/2022 23:40

Any time really, 1am? I wouldn’t be concerned at that age

Midlifemusings · 04/03/2022 00:15

Whenever. All night would be fine. Make sure he knows generally when to expect you back.

DaisyTheUnicorn · 04/03/2022 05:35

Mine (13) is anxious so we dont do long after dark tbh. She would hide in bed until she fell asleep. She told she was fine because she wanted to be... but later we found out she had been really worried and frightened.

I can't see us leaving her late at 14! Not that I think others should have the same issues just aware some kids don't handle it well.

(Are many 14 year olds up to 2am? Id probably with my other one want to be back by 12 and keep in contact a bit.)

supermommie · 04/03/2022 05:43

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 04/03/2022 06:06

Depends if he's likely to be anxious or not
Mine still doesn't like to be left after dark for long and he's 13 but I expect that will reduce over the next year. If he's genuinely fine with it then any time after he's gone to bed should be fine.

labyrinthlaziness · 04/03/2022 06:12

No one can answer this for you because it is all dependent on your individual child, home and feelings.

What time do you usually come home from a night out?

Why not just plan a shorter night out (do NOT tell your child it is because of their anxiety or you will make things worse) and then go for longer next time if all is well? That's what I would do if unsure, build it up.

Mindymomo · 04/03/2022 07:03

Ask him what time he would be happy for you to come home.

reluctantbrit · 13/03/2022 22:38

We left her until 11pm one evening last autumn. We checked in with her around 7pm and then again at 9.30pm (her request, she just wanted to do it as it was the first time that late).

We had our neighbours informed and left their numbers for her just in case.

I think we will do it more often.

Caramelcap · 14/03/2022 07:34

Mine would be fine but I wouldn't trust him not to get up to no good.

If I go away I always get him to stay with a friend or family member for the night.

Hippolyte · 14/03/2022 07:42

We have done this for the first time recently. Is there a neighbour who might be in as an emergency contact for him? We let our neighbour know that we were out and DS had her number in case. I think we both felt much more comfortable with this and less as though we had to hurry home!

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