Best friend is now boyfriend

8 replies

user76990877 · 26/02/2022 19:52

A few weeks ago DS 15 told me he is gay. He has a best friend who has been having sleepovers regularly and DS has now told me that they are in a relationship and have been for around two months.
He has asked if he can still sleepover, I don't know what to do. He is my eldest so haven't had to deal with bf/gf staying over before.

OP posts:

bonfireheart · 26/02/2022 19:53

It's not about his sexuality, it's about his age - explain that to him and say no.

snowmanshoes · 26/02/2022 21:13

Hmm a tricky one as he didn’t have to say anything and you wouldn’t have known so if you say no it’s like you’re punishing him for being honest (which you’re not obviously but just saying he may look at it that way) I would say that of course his friend/bf can stay but it would have to be separate rooms the same as I presume you would say if it was a 15 year old girl.

Original poster

user76990877 · 26/02/2022 21:21

@snowmanshoes

Thats exactly how I think he will feel like I am punishing him for been honest. If he didn't tell me I would be none the wiser and it might stop him confiding in me in the future. No separate spare room for him to stay in.

OP posts:

GreenClock · 26/02/2022 21:27

The fact they've only been together for 2 months wouldn’t bother me because they were good friends already, so I’d call that an established relationship. However, 15 is too young for a partner (male or female) to stay over. So, it would be a no from me.

Slimemonster · 26/02/2022 21:49

If I said no, I'd be concerned that my child would seek out an alternative place to possibly have sex anyway, (irrelevant of male/female I mean)
So I'd rather it just happen under my roof knowing they are somewhere safe, and knowing that I have supported/educated them on safe and healthy relationships.
However if its just a sleepover with no sex (door left open maybe?)
Perhaps there's compromise somewhere... A difficult one for sure x

garlictwist · 26/02/2022 21:54

Well you don't have to worry about pregnancy which is the main concern of teenage sex so I'd probably just let them stay over and do what they do. They will just do it anyway and at least you know where they are.

Ethelily · 26/02/2022 21:57

I personally would - if they're already in a relationship and have been staying over, it is likely that things have already 'happened' on these sleepovers - a ban on these sleepovers going forward might be viewed as non-acceptance of the relationship and therefore his sexuality if they were disallowed going forward. I appreciate that this would absolutely not be the case - but this may be how your son would view things, and if it were my son I would want to show him complete acceptance and respect his honesty.

I know at this age myself I was not allowed male friends to sleep over but was still sexually active.

Benjispruce5 · 14/03/2022 16:26

15 is too young for boyfriend/girlfriend to stay over. If it’s to do with a late night and getting home issue then offer the sofa.

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