Emotional regulation tips/courses/books to help with my dd 12

[Moncherie]

Just looking for some resources to help me with my dd 12 who struggles to regulate her emotions. She has been avoiding school since November. When at school she is increasingly disruptive in class with her friends and removed from class. At this point she becomes defensive and I think is unable to regulate and follow instructions. She is meant to go to a detention room to calm down and if she doesn't they will send her home for the day. At home she has been violent and thrown glasses etc, only since November, and we are slowly managing to make in roads here, to avoid these meltdowns. She has severe mental health and anxiety, many thing going on. Emotional regulation is just one in a long list we need to tackle at th moment but would appreciate any good links.

Does DD have an EHCP?

Has DD had an OT assessment? Are you using something like Zones of Regulation? Are the school providing any emotional literacy support?

Is DD receiving MH support?

Are all the times DD is sent home by the school formal exclusions? If not, they are illegally excluding DD.

If DD can’t attend school the LA should be providing alternative education. This should begin when it becomes clear DD will miss 15 days.

We are in Scotland so I'm not sure if it is the same but we have a young persons plan, which I feel is not how I understood what was discussed at her meeting. I need to find out what the equivalent would be
No OT assessment, I've heard about this from another mum, is this done privately? No sensory processing assessment so need to find out how this is done also. She is seeing a psychologist privately, only had a few sessions until now and it is once a fortnight. Appointment with camhs in April. I will look at zones of regulation, no the school haven't provided literacy support. I had said she will not always be able to regulate on the spot, even with the threat of being sent home, I feel that might stress her out even more, but they have no resources to help her calm down other than go to this room. She doesn't want to meet with the school counsellor etc as she finds it awkward and struggles to open up. She is currently on a reduced timetable as there are some classes she can't manage to go to, they felt she would be able to return after a couple of weeks of not doing them but I don't see this happening. I don't know how this is being recorded, on my list of things to check. We had a police welfare check last night as the experience at school on Thursday and being sent home impacted her mental health and I was really worried about her, the police came as she contacted childline. I don't feel we can continue with the plan when it is pushing her to feel like this. She needs to behave better in class I know but I have no idea how to navigate all this.

In Scotland the rough equivalent of an EHCP is a CSP. Have you spoken to Enquire?

DD shouldn’t be on a reduced timetable long term.

In England an OT assessment, including a sensory assessment, can be included in an EHCNA, I believe this is the same Scotland as part of the CSP assessment. Although you can pay privately too.