Teens in the school hols

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 2022-02-24T14:11:21+00:00

Don't know if I'm being a bit mean here so help me out. My teens at home in the school hols are not surfacing until after 12 and then get up looking for food. Fair enough. My issue is them trying to cram all three meals into the remaining hours of the day. I kind of feel like if you're not up by 11ish you've missed breakfast and so you go straight to lunch. Am I wrong? Am WFH and am fed up of the constant clearing up after them.

AlexaShutUp · 24/02/2022 14:13

Why aren't they clearing up after themselves?

I think it's fine for them to get their own breakfast and/or lunch as they choose, but I would expect them to sort themselves out and not leave a mess.

SoupDragon · 24/02/2022 14:13

I think I'd be teaching them to clear up after themselves rather than worrying about the number of meals. That would be --a miracle- half the battle won.

Fizbosshoes · 24/02/2022 14:15

My DD often doesn't get up til mid-day however she usually has something around 12.30 that apparently is breakfast and lunch. I am mostly out at work during school hols so her and DS sort their own meals during the day (and tbf are better than DH at clearing up after themselves) I cook a meal in the evening. DS prefers to have something cooked at lunchtime too but he normally repeats leftovers or cooks some pasta.

Original poster

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 24/02/2022 14:16

Yeah they should be clearing up after themselves...but I also feel like it's a bit greedy cramming two meals into a space of 90 minutes which is what's happened in our house today!

OP posts:

arethereanyleftatall · 24/02/2022 14:21

I only get involved in one meal per day for my 13yo dd. I'm out at work in the morning, and I'm glad that she sleeps in till noon, her body clearly needs it. I arrived home at 1 today and she'd made and cleared away scrambled egg on toast for her breakfast, and has gone out with a friend now. I'll make her dinner around 5pm. No plans to cram 3 meals in, it isn't necessary.

AlexaShutUp · 24/02/2022 14:24

@chocolatesaltyballs22

Yeah they should be clearing up after themselves...but I also feel like it's a bit greedy cramming two meals into a space of 90 minutes which is what's happened in our house today!

Greedy?

If they're hungry, I don't really get why it's a problem. Are you worried about how much they're eating overall or just the spacing out of their mealtimes?

RedskyThisNight · 24/02/2022 14:27

Why is it greedy if that's the way they choose to eat their food? If they are like my teens, they are as likely to eat nothing at all until dinner time the next day.

If they got up at 8 to have breakfast and took it back to bed, would that be better?

Insist they clean up after themselves though.

purplesequins · 24/02/2022 14:29

my teens clear up after themselves.

we usually discuss some chores during holidays, but this time they need to study as well for marked exams soon.

JodyAteApples · 24/02/2022 14:29

It's their holiday, one measly week. Let them eat 2 meals in 90 minutes and lie in. Ds2 is year 11, his current holiday is revision for his GCSE mocks.

But yes, clearing up after themselves is a must. If they haven't done it absolutely do not do it. Interrupt whatever they are doing and they do it immediately. If they complain all the better as it means you have driven home your point. They wouldn't have been interrupted if they had cleared up after lunch.

PinkSyCo · 24/02/2022 14:46

Can’t really comment on whether your DCs are greedy or not without knowing what the two meals they crammed in in 90 minutes consisted of, but you definitely need to tell them they need to clear up after themselves.

Original poster

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 24/02/2022 14:47

OK I'm clearly in the minority then but it just feels a bit unecessary - make yourself a bigger brunch if you're hungry ffs!

OP posts:

Tunabaguette · 24/02/2022 15:20

I used to operate a system, still do to a certain extent, whereby teen funding depended on them being up and out and doing something useful for half of the holidays (sports, volunteering, creative workshop, dance) and then half the time they could wallow and that sort of naturally sorted the meal issues because when they were out doing stuff they stuck to usual meal times and when they were wallowing they could just help themselves from bowls of things I left in fridge or cook their own snacks. I think it's fine to lie in until noon for part of a holiday but not the whole time.

RedskyThisNight · 24/02/2022 17:39

@Tunabaguette

I used to operate a system, still do to a certain extent, whereby teen funding depended on them being up and out and doing something useful for half of the holidays (sports, volunteering, creative workshop, dance) and then half the time they could wallow and that sort of naturally sorted the meal issues because when they were out doing stuff they stuck to usual meal times and when they were wallowing they could just help themselves from bowls of things I left in fridge or cook their own snacks. I think it's fine to lie in until noon for part of a holiday but not the whole time.

How exhausting. Are they not allowed just to hang out with their friends or just relax and read a book or watch netflix? What is wrong with lying in until noon (which will tend to mean they are equally late to bed) if they have nothing to get up for? I wouldn't want to spend my holiday doing "worthy" things; so I wouldn't impose it on my teens.

Tunabaguette · 25/02/2022 01:38

How exhausting. Are they not allowed just to hang out with their friends or just relax and read a book or watch netflix? What is wrong with lying in until noon (which will tend to mean they are equally late to bed) if they have nothing to get up for? I wouldn't want to spend my holiday doing "worthy" things; so I wouldn't impose it on my teens.

Did you read my post properly RedskyThisNight? It's not exhausting at all. They get to see friends, watch Netflix and read books for at least half of the holiday and do what you call "worthy" stuff, which they actual enjoy btw, for the other half. I am telling the op what works for us if that's ok with you? And imho, you tend to feel far more exhausted after a holiday of loafing about all day, than when you have a good mix of relaxation interspersed with activity.

Flatandhappy · 25/02/2022 01:44

Supply food they can make/assemble themselves when they get up and only get involved in providing dinner. I would let them eat in whatever combo or order they wanted as long as they cleaned up after themselves. If they leave a mess they don’t use the kitchen again until it’s sorted. Trust me, it is very liberating when you tell your teens that this is the new system - “mum the short order chef” only works the dinner shift.

Fernhurst · 25/02/2022 01:50

@Flatandhappy

Supply food they can make/assemble themselves when they get up and only get involved in providing dinner. I would let them eat in whatever combo or order they wanted as long as they cleaned up after themselves. If they leave a mess they don’t use the kitchen again until it’s sorted. Trust me, it is very liberating when you tell your teens that this is the new system - “mum the short order chef” only works the dinner shift.

Agree with this

Monty27 · 25/02/2022 04:17

OP they're on "holiday" give them a break. I'd have them helping to sort the evening meal out to give you a break too though.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 25/02/2022 06:56

@chocolatesaltyballs22

OK I'm clearly in the minority then but it just feels a bit unecessary - make yourself a bigger brunch if you're hungry ffs!

This makes no sense.

Why is one big meal perfectly acceptable, but two smaller meals aren't?

Gabbiadini · 25/02/2022 07:11

Mine will often do similar. Sometimes they announce they’re having brunch at midday and cook something more substantial like eggs, beans, hash browns but they’ll always still manage to fit in a couple of bowls of cereal and some toast or a wrap at some point as well as a big cooked dinner.

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 25/02/2022 07:23

I've always said that as a mum the best I can do is keep them fed. My two teen boys are very active and eat alot. One is trying to be careful after putting on weight. They cook for themselves frequently throughout the day and I wouldn't stop them. What annoys me is not being able to find one family meal for dinner that everyone likes

starterset · 25/02/2022 07:27

Agree with maybe encouraging them to get up earlier sometimes and do something productive. I get that it's their holiday, but kids do get 14 weeks of school holiday a year, which is a lot of loafing around time! Maybe a compromise, as a PP suggested? Re the meals, it wouldn't bother me them being on a different schedule, as long as they sorted themselves out, and made sure they were hungry for dinner. We generally always eat lunch and dinner together in the holidays, but breakfast is just eaten as and when.

seasaltstripes · 25/02/2022 07:35

Can't see the issue with two meals in quick succession if that's what they want. Can definitely see the issue if that ends up with you doing two rounds of clearing up in quick succession (but think them not doing the clearing up is the problem, rather than the pattern of eating!).

I'll occasionally instigate a nice breakfast or lunch in the holidays, but mostly my teens sort themselves out and then we all have dinner together (mostly cooked by me or DH, but sometimes by them).

Two of the three are enthusiastic bakers and cooks - which is great in many ways, but the cleaning up is still a work in progress. (The progress is being made, but not as fast as I would like!)

finished31 · 25/02/2022 10:37

My DS generally stays up in tot he early hours with his mates on Xbox and shows his face some time after 2pm. He has a late lunch, dinner and usually sandwich for when he's hungry in the middle of the night. It works for us.