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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

'Dumped' by DD

1 reply

APretADay · 22/02/2022 18:13

So school is fine, sporty hobby, wide friendship group (who she wants to spend all her free time with)... DD (12) is just disengaged from me (and DH, but I seem to wind her up more). I really do feel like I've been dumped - and am dealing with it badly!

I know it's not the worst teenage issue, and it's a natural stage. But I'm struggling and would love some tips on how to find ways of keeping lines of communication open. My older DD went through a similarly stroppy stage, but she always talked to me.

Younger DD doesn't seem to want much to do with me in or out of the house (a weekend trip to town was mortifying). I find myself being needy and unrelaxed around her, which I really want to stop.

I thought about backing off and waiting for her to come to me - but I'm not around much in the week because of work, so don't want to detach further. But maybe that's the answer?

Another issue is she's spending too much time on her phone - what kind of limits do you set? (I seem like a complete novice don't I? But honestly I'm floored by this disinterest - the stroppiness first time around was somehow easier to tackle!!)

OP posts:
CharlotteTuesday · 25/02/2022 00:43

She's a bit young for all of this so I'd probably be curtailing her freedoms just a tiny bit starting with the phone. Do it now before it's really entrenched behaviour

At 12, you control the phone so I'd just tell her it was coming out of her room at a time that you feel is best

The remainder - can you watch a box set together? Go for food? Find a common interest in, I don't know, true crime or American candy. What does she like doing?

I wouldn't back off but I would make sure you're not showing her that any of this bothers you

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