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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Original poster

SD time of the month help

39 replies

elliefreya123 · 07/02/2022 11:48

We have two holidays booked for this summer and SD 13 is due on her period for both holidays! She has been regular for the past year so I doubt this will change.
The issue I now face is I really don't want it being the time of her month to ruin the holiday for her, as we are going abroad and there is water parks, swimming pools etc. she has only ever used pads, so understandably is uncomfortable / nervous about using a tampon.

My dilemma is do I ideally need to convince her to wear a tampon and if so, how? Or could she get away with wearing the small light pads?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

OP posts:

Beamur · 07/02/2022 11:49

You can get swimsuits that are suitable for this. Look at Modibodi. She wouldn't need to use a pad or tampon.

Auntieobem · 07/02/2022 11:50

Period underwear and swimwear?

cheekychaplin · 07/02/2022 11:51

The issue I now face is I really don't want it being the time of her month to ruin the holiday for her, as we are going abroad and there is water parks, swimming pools etc. she has only ever used pads, so understandably is uncomfortable / nervous about using a tampon.

My dilemma is do I ideally need to convince her to wear a tampon and if so, how? Or could she get away with wearing the small light pads?

It's not your issue, your dilemma or your business.

You don't need to be convincing her to do anything.

Inspectorslack · 07/02/2022 11:53

This is nothing to do with you. Absolutely nothing

Ducksurprise · 07/02/2022 11:53

Just be careful with your replies. Although agree with Cheeky

Ozanj · 07/02/2022 11:55

Get a few lilets teen starter packs. Amazon sell them for approx £4. They were a god send for when 9 year old DN started her period while on holiday. She was using their tampons properly from day 2 - but we only used them when we were by the pool, changed them every 2-3 hours to avoid leakage, and changed into pads when we left the pool area. I had started my period then too so we’d just go into the loo together, she’d see me do it and did it herself. A 13 year old can probably just be left to do it herself with the instructions.

Pootle40 · 07/02/2022 11:55

That's a bit harsh @cheekychaplin

I'm sure we all remember those days when we had started and were still unsure of things.

I remember moving to tampons myself and persevering as a 13/14 year old because of exactly this. I wanted to be able to join in the fun in the pool! They didn't have moodibodi back then.

I think all you can do OP is show support, deal with it sensitively and make her aware there are some options she can consider and give it try and she has some time to see what she feels comfortable with.

cheekychaplin · 07/02/2022 11:56

@Pootle40

That's a bit harsh *@cheekychaplin*

I'm sure we all remember those days when we had started and were still unsure of things.

I remember moving to tampons myself and persevering as a 13/14 year old because of exactly this. I wanted to be able to join in the fun in the pool! They didn't have moodibodi back then.

Harsh? You have got to be joking?

Ozanj · 07/02/2022 11:57

Modi bodi do have teen swimwear too but they aren’t designed for more than tampon leakage. DN at 9 couldn’t wear them without a tampon so I doubt a 13 yo could

Inspectorslack · 07/02/2022 12:00

@Pootle40 if the SD wants to know she can ask. It’s not for the op to convince her of anything really.

Ozanj · 07/02/2022 12:01

@cheekychaplin

My dilemma is do I ideally need to convince her to wear a tampon and if so, how? Or could she get away with wearing the small light pads?

It's not your issue, your dilemma or your business.

You don't need to be convincing her to do anything.

Definitely not but she can have all the products available so a 13 year old can make informed choices about her body. Too many mums don’t talk about this stuff properly because of ‘virginity’ and then the crucial window where girls view their periods as normal slips away. The only reason why we used to wear pads back in the day was because we didn’t have options & even then they weren’t fit for purpose for walking / running because girls puberty was ignored . There are many options available now & I’d expect a SM to make them available for her SD to then pick the ones she feels most comfortable with.

Lochroy · 07/02/2022 12:01

@cheekychaplin Why do you have such a strong opinion on this? If the OP is involved enough to know SD's cycle, then it's fair enough

Or are you just presuming she's an evil step mother who waltzed in and broke up a family? Would you be posting differently if it was a mum asking for her daughter?

Genuine qs because I can't fathom why you are wording your posts so strongly.

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/02/2022 12:02

It’s not up to you to convince her of anything. Ask her how she’d like to handle it and what you can do to help.

KissKissButtCheek · 07/02/2022 12:04

Jesus wept stepmums really can't do anything right can they! If OP didn't care and said not my problem, she's be wrong for that. Now that she's trying help SD have a good holiday thay isn't spoilt by a period, she's still bloody wrong!

Anyway - @elliefreya123, I have two SD's and when they were younger and we went away I always packed pads and smaller size tampons. I'd say to them they are in x place if you need anything, you need help with anything just give me a shout x

cheekychaplin · 07/02/2022 12:05

Why do you have such a strong opinion on this? If the OP is involved enough to know SD's cycle, then it's fair enough

Knowing when someone is on their period doesn't make it 'fair enough' to try to convince them to use tampons.

Or are you just presuming she's an evil step mother who waltzed in and broke up a family? Would you be posting differently if it was a mum asking for her daughter?

Nothing to do with her being a SM, I never mentioned that?

Genuine qs because I can't fathom why you are wording your posts so strongly.

Because I feel strongly.

pinksparkly · 07/02/2022 12:07

I have had the same situation with my teen daughter and we got some period delay tablets from the doctor called Norethisterone. You can actually buy them online. Not something I would do often especially with a teenager but as a one off they work great.

MrsDrSpencerReid · 07/02/2022 12:11

OP is just asking for advice, it sounds like she’s close with her SD as she knows her cycle and is looking for ways to help her still have fun on the holidays.

Period swimmers could be the way to go if she’s uncomfortable with trying tampons.

cheekychaplin · 07/02/2022 12:13

@MrsDrSpencerReid

OP is just asking for advice, it sounds like she’s close with her SD as she knows her cycle and is looking for ways to help her still have fun on the holidays.

Period swimmers could be the way to go if she’s uncomfortable with trying tampons.

OP is talking about 'her' dilemma, 'her' issue and whether she should try to convince the SD to use tampons. What about realising this is actually the SD situation to deal with if she wants to.

MadrigalCorp · 07/02/2022 12:18

I was scared to use tampons as a teen until I got some free at uni and my room-mate used them, it was life changing.

If only my mother had bothered to tell me years before instead of me sitting in class or not going out, terrified I'd bleed through my clothes! It baffles me why you wouldn't help a girl to learn what works for her.

TheApexOfMyLife · 07/02/2022 12:26

Well, I, for one, think it’s nice that the OP has thought about the fact the dates could be an issue for dsd re her periods.

@elliefreya123 the best you can do is to have a discussion with her (general one) on how to handle being at the pool whilst having her periods.
I don’t know if she is the type to have heavy or painful periods but this will have an impact on what she can or can’t do too.

You’ve had many solutions already (not sure there are others tbh). But I’d say it’s worth having a chat with her about her potentially getting her periods then.
I know at that age, I had no clue when it would come (despite me being regular btw) and I would have been thinking about how excited I would be to go away etc…rather than the practicalities of a period when I was there.

I’d also it’s worth having a chat with her re (potentially!!) staining bedsheets. I know this was a real issue for me and I never dare mention it to anyone (too ashamed). But I had flooding periods then which didn’t help.

TheApexOfMyLife · 07/02/2022 12:29

And yes, it will be up to your dad to decide what she wants to do. You can only propose and share information iyswim.

Fwiw I didn’t use a tampon until I was way into my 20s. I really didn’t like the idea of it, was scared to put it in. There is no way I would have contemplated a tampon at that age tbh.

Shakespearesist3r · 07/02/2022 12:29

Op, perhaps you should speak to her mum if you're friendly enough, I say this with kindness but it's really not your place to try and convince her on such a sensitive issue. I would leave it to her mum to speak to her if you raise it.

MaggieFS · 07/02/2022 13:35

I also found tampons game changing. If I hadn't been at boarding school and had a visit from the Tampax lady giving out samples which my mates tried, prompting me to do the same, I never would have used them. My mother certainly wouldn't discuss such matters with time.

Thank you for being considerate to her OP, tread gently, but hopefully she'll be appreciative.

TeenPlusCat · 07/02/2022 13:39

You can get pills to delay periods, maybe the SD might like to explore this with her mum if it is going to impact her holiday?

Piggyk2 · 07/02/2022 13:43

Has your SD expressed concerns OP? Has she come to you worrying?

At 13 I wouldn't of wanted to use a tampon.... I really struggled to get the hang.

We need more info before shooting OP down!!

The poster suggesting the swimsuit idea sounds perfect but only if OPS SD wants suggestions.

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