Hair dying

[Sallyssss]

My ds is 16 - nearly 17 and has dyed her hair navy blue! I hate it - she is really fair skinned and it makes her look so pale. She argues it's her hair and she should have the right to colour it how she pleases.

Academically she is doing really well - she works hard. She has a part time job and as far as we know isn't doing anything else rebellious.

She is also going for a work experience interview in a couple of weeks at a prestigious company....with navy blue hair?! Will it matter? Do people care?!

Any advice please??! Should I fight this or let it go.

Let it go, my Daughter is the same, they will grow out of it, it is a way of expressing themselves and should not be stopped.

I encourage expression through hair colour and style.

Hair grows back. I currently work with a 20year old who uses tattoos as her self expression. They are what look like hand drawn tattoos even on her hands and neck. The tattoos will never go away.

If you try to stop the hair colour then she will look for other forms of self expression.

Thank you so much for replying. I did suggest different colours - lighter, but she really doesn't want to hear my suggestions. She wears a lot of black so she does look gothic and worn out, but I know I have to let this one go. I guess it's all part of having a teenager!

Ah, leave her to it! Nothing wrong with exploring hair colours at that age. I was all colours of the rainbow. I also dyed my hair black. It looked bloody awful! But it was a mistake I needed to make to learn! I'm glad my mum left me to it.

@DropYourSword

Ah, leave her to it! Nothing wrong with exploring hair colours at that age. I was all colours of the rainbow. I also dyed my hair black. It looked bloody awful! But it was a mistake I needed to make to learn! I'm glad my mum left me to it.

Same tho I don't seem to have learnt my lessons tried to go chocolate and currently have black hair!!

OP I would explain what people at the work experience might think and let her be. As much as it annoys me some people can't see passed the way someone looks but if they are like that do you really want her there at this stage in her life.

I have 2 teens who love to have brightly coloured hair.

Please don't have a conversation with her about 'skin tones'
Can you remember what it is to be a teenager?

Having navy blue may be for 100 different reasons, but I can bet that 'looking nice and suiting your skin tone' really is not one of them.

I think you need to see it as being like clothes, they try many different colours (as long as it is black ) and styles and make statements and fashion/anti fashion choices and eventually as they get older they find things they like (which is not necessarily the same as it suiting them or looking nice!)

That may include blue hair.
So? Leave her to it.

As to the job interview. She probably won't listen as you have said you don't like the blue. But it is worth telling her that she might want to think about her first impression, just as you dress smartly (and conventionally) you might include your hair in that.
She might choose to dye it brown and then back to blue after the interview. If she chooses not to, and doesn't get it, well it might or might not be due to her hair!

I would say ‘Darling, tou are wonderful, and I am so impressed with how you are getting on in life. I wouldn’t want to tell you what you should do with your hair, because you’re old enough to make your own decisions. What I would like to talk about is colours and how they can enhance your skin tone, or drain it.’ Choose a stark light and hold up different coloured fabrics against her skin so that she can compare how they impact on her look.

😂😂 I can imagine look if I said this to my teenage daughter. She would think I've gone insane.

To a certain extent I'd let it go. I would have a discussion about appearance expectations in a professional environment though. I've talked to mine about dressing appropriately for the environment they are going into and now sometimes you need to make adjustments to your personal "look"

I would say ‘Darling, tou are wonderful, and I am so impressed with how you are getting on in life. I wouldn’t want to tell you what you should do with your hair, because you’re old enough to make your own decisions. What I would like to talk about is colours and how they can enhance your skin tone, or drain it.’ Choose a stark light and hold up different coloured fabrics against her skin so that she can compare how they impact on her look.

She's 16
She's chosen the colour she likes, and it's how she wants to express herself.
Mine dyed hers blue over lockdown which 'faded' to green. She loved it. It made her look quite ill. I eventually had to fork out for a professional colour because her school don't allow unnatural hair colour, but she was so happy.

It's far more temporary than tattoos

Don't be negative about it to her face. It is her choice and she has made it .Definitely don't talk about skin tones as if being 'pretty' is a goal to aim for. She has eyes and knows what she looks like.
I totally understand that you have feelings but the last thing you want is for DD to feel bad about herself.

I would hate it too, I’ve never seen blue and thought it looked good on anyone, but at her age, just leave her to it. It would be nice to think companies do not discriminate but some inevitably do. If she doesn’t get the work experience placement, you’ll never know if it was the blue hair or something else anyway.

I tell my kids to appreciate their lovely natural hair colour as it’ll go grey soon enough. 😬

blue hair

Nearly 17 - you’ve got off lightly! I’d been suspended from school for my hair colour numerous times by that age. Still haven’t grown out of it and am in my fifties.

If it helps, I’ve just got a reasonably well paid, professional job with my pink hair, a nose piercing and several tattoos.

Thank you! I don't think I've quite handled it as well as I could. She is so beautiful and I'm so proud of her. I guess this is all part of letting go. I'll chat to her this evening.