15yo all night party

[Neurodiversitydoctor]

Dd is 15. I think we are fairly reasonable , but I am not comfortable with her staying over at partys with alcohol. We prefer to come and get her at 11ish. Apparently this means she misses all the fun and all the other parents allow their 15yo (yr10s) to stay over. Is this right ? Are most year 10s allowed to stay over at mixed partys where I know there is alcohol and suspect there are drugs.

I agree 15 is too young. At my Ds's 16th most of the guests left or were collecting around 11 p.m. That was in 2018, so I doubt it's changed much since then!

Absolutely not.

But I understand the pressure you are under to let her. She wont be the only one going home. Go with you instincts, she is a child and too young.

My DS is 15 and in yr11....it's a no to staying over at parties unless it is a very small gathering at a good friends house and I know and trust the parents well.

Where do you live? My DD is YR10 and never even been to a party (or asked to go to one either). She does have sleepovers with her friends, but no alcohol. But we live in a village. Though if she wanted to go to one, I think an 11pm pick up is absolutely fine at that age.

I like that Wowwellokthen how small ? I sm thinking 4ish...

Kent

I wouldn't let DD do that but would give her a reason that saves face with her friends. E.g. 'I can't stay because I have a sports fixture early next day' is much better than not being allowed...

We let 15 yos stay over at parties IF it was a school friend we knew, IF we knew the parents and IF we knew that only a few of them were staying for a sleepover afterwards.

But then, they didn't go to the sort of parties where they would be drinking more than a couple of beers - and there were certainly no drugs. Parents were in the house all night and keeping a pretty close eye on things.

I was allowed to stay over at that age and as a result I wouldn’t let my child! If it was going to go wrong it usually was after 1/2am as that’s when everyone had drunk too much, at that age they aren’t mature enough to handle their drink or look after each other properly if someone got in a state. Their inhibitions are also weakened so more likely to agree to things they wouldn’t usually like sex or drugs or feel pressured to do those things because all of the others allowed to stay are doing it. I would maybe make the curfew later to midnight, the fact they know they are going to see you should put them off taking anything they shouldn’t.

Yup 3-4 is the max
Parents must be on site and alcohol limited (locked up apart from a few beers)

@Okki

Where do you live? My DD is YR10 and never even been to a party (or asked to go to one either). She does have sleepovers with her friends, but no alcohol. But we live in a village. Though if she wanted to go to one, I think an 11pm pick up is absolutely fine at that age.

My 14yr old Yr10 hasn't been to any parties either. Plenty of time yet.

We are Kent too :)

Dd is 15 but Y11 so most/half of her friends are 16. She has a pretty standard mixed group of 10-15 friends who pretty much all drink a bit, from ciders to spirits, and they’ve all been friends for 5+ years. No drugs though.

They have parties and they all stay. If I insisted on picking her up she probably would be the only one coming home.
From the sound of it we’re the exception though.

We’re in the process of planning her 16th and I’ve agreed to move across the road for the night - far enough away for her to relax, but also close enough also so that she can relax…

*Wowwellokthen

Okki

Where do you live? My DD is YR10 and never even been to a party (or asked to go to one either). She does have sleepovers with her friends, but no alcohol. But we live in a village. Though if she wanted to go to one, I think an 11pm pick up is absolutely fine at that age.

My 14yr old Yr10 hasn't been to any parties either. Plenty of time yet.

We are Kent too*

DS was like this, just starting to go to parties now aged 17