14 year old house party (year 9)

[clairemac1972]

My 14 year old daughter (Yr9)has been invited to a house party...Living in a small city in the uk obviously i am not oblivious to the fact that many people her age are already drinking and smoking and doing god knows what. (Obviously too young but not surprising). The party is at a friends house, boys and girls, probably no parents (Dd is unsure) and alcohol. dd says most of her year is going.I know what can happen at teenage houseparties as i was once young too.. Want to protect her and have boundaries but also let her live. Should i let her go?

Mixed sex, under age, alcohol and no parents.
What could possibly go wrong?

How sensible versus easily led is she?
Does she have strength of character to say 'no I'm not doing that', and presence of mind to act if it gets out of hand?
Can you talk her through 'what ifs'?

It would have been a No from me for my particular DDs at that age, but they have particular vulnerabilities.

I let my sister n have a party at that age but I was in the kitchen supervising...
one of them was sick as they'd managed to smuggle in alcohol

I'd probably say no
Unless you know the parents very well!

Son not sister!

I think unsupervised 14 year olds with possible alcohol is a recipe for disaster. Around 16 onwards, I'd have no problem, but 14 year olds are still extremely immature. How upset will she be if you say no? Also, I will never understand parents who leave their teens parties unsupervised when there's a lot of kids attending. The only ones I know who have done it have severely regretted it.