Pocket Money for DS 15 & 12

[thesugarbumfairy]

Two DS

The 12 year old gets £5.50 a week (approx £22 pm)
The 14 year old gets £6.50 a week. He will be 15 shortly and it goes up to £7 (approx £28 pm)

Both of them have their phone contracts paid for by us. approx £13 per month
We buy anything they actually need like clothes etc.
They do minimal chores (emptying dishwasher/sorting washing)

12 year old (who is a spender and Mr sociable) says its not enough and barely buys a magazine (which I realise is true)
14 year old (who doesn't go anywhere and doesn't like 'stuff' or clutter) doesn't really give a monkeys.

I don't have a clue if this is a reasonable amount or not. I certainly wouldn't give them less - but should they be getting more?

We're just giving this thread a bump in case anyone's around to give the OP a steer.

Who pays if they want to go to the cinema and nandos with friends? Do you pay or do they have to save?

Can you give them the option to earn more by doing stuff round the house?

I found a useful starting point was the local authority minimum pocket money figures that foster carers have to give children in their care (varies slightly by area).

A 12 year old would be entitled to £5.15
a 14 year old would be entitled to £7.35

A 15 year old would be entitled to £8.80

What are they expected to buy with it? I think that's quite critical.

We have gone for a very different approach with our teens (15 and 13). They get considerably more money a month (£70), but they have to buy a lot of their own stuff out of it, including clothes (not uniform), social spending and Christmas/birthday gifts etc. I wanted them to have enough money to be able to make choices and budget themselves. Two are very careful with money - one is already fretting about house deposits(!) - and one is a real spender. It feels safe for them to be learning how to use money within their own style while we're still able to guide them.

Prior to that they were getting £5 a week pocket money, but we would fund most things for them (e.g. if they went to town with a friend we'd give them some spending money).

@comefromaway those figures are useful yes

@NuffSaidSam that's never happened. If it did we'd give them some money because it would be like a special event! We do give the 12 year old a couple of pounds for his 'social' club on a Friday night.

They are so different, I'm not sure if we should be treating them differently - the older child isn't interested in clothes - he wouldn't buy any if he was given the money (like his dad - still wearing stuff he had when I met him nearly 20 years ago) He hates going out in public.
The younger one loves spending.

I treated my two differently. Dd wanted to buy her own clothes etc so we gave her an extra allowance for that. Ds has no interest in clothes whatsoever so we buy him everything.

Extra jobs for extra money is good because then the one who is money-driven can do the extra jobs and the other can leave it. You're treated them both the same, but they're free to make different choices based in their own preferences.

At some point I would start giving the more money and reducing the stuff you pay for though so they get to practise budgeting etc.

It all depends on what you can afford as well. If he was meeting his friends in a sat for cinema or something would he have to save for that?

My 7 year old get £7 a week, but obviously he goes no where without it so he uses that to save up for toys etc

Ps the extra jobs is a good one. I let my son sell his old toys in Facebook also

Mine are still little so it's not something I have to worry about yet but I think I'd probably do as a PP suggests and use the LA foster carers pocket money as a starting point with the expectation that certain personal chores are completed (keeping own bedroom tidy and clean, putting own clothes away/in laundry basket etc), with the option to earn additional money for completing additional household chores (helping to keep communal living spaces tidy and clean, gardening, caring for family pets etc).

I have a 15 year old who gets £50 per month sent into his account and a 9 year old who gets £5 a week. It works for us cos the 9 year old just buys little bits and pieces. The 15 year old uses it mostly for going out with friends at the weekends and usually buys himself something once a month he wouldn't otherwise buy. Mine also just do minimal chores but the 15 year old does watch the 9 year old sometimes which saves me money on a sitter.

Me and most of my friends got around £5 a week when we were 12. But that was around 20 years ago.

£5 doesn't go very far these days.

My 12 year old DD gets £6 basic but can earn upto £4 extra by completely chores, washing up after dinner twice a week, vacuuming living room and her own bedroom meal prep , general chores like tidying toys putting clothes away putting rubbish in bin, dishes to sink being generally helpful are just expected as part of family, she gets the extra £4 most weeks . She is expected to budget for food when meeting friends birthday presents for friends, makeup if she misses school bus more than once a term she would need to pay bus fare home,she doesn't pay fare if she is at a club I give her fare or collect her. She generally saves the extra £4

Thank you for all responses

yes @allcookiemonster2468 this is what I keep thinking. I'm sure I got about a fiver a week when I was 15, but that was back in the late 80's!

We do offer them extra chores for cash. They very rarely take us up on that!

I also feel like I shouldn't really take the phone costs into consideration, as whilst they do want a phone each, we want them to have them as well (the 12 year old has a tracker on his - which he knows about as that was the deal. ) I think if they want more data though, I would expect them to fork out for that themselves.

I think I will raise what my eldest gets to the suggested foster carer amount.

I think I will also say to the 12 year old that he will get money for Friday club only if he learns to PICKHISFRIGGINGCLOTHESUPANDPUTTHEMINTHEWASHINGBASKET. and also GETYOURFLIPPINGTOYSOUTTHELIVINGROOMANDBACKINYOURBEDROOM (He is v. v. messy indeed. His older brother is super-minimalist and tidy)

Just to add @thesugarbumfairy, my 14yo gets £40/month and 12yo £36. The 14yo is almost 15 and we're going to put it up to £50 and increase from there.

We don't really agree with money for chores.. they help out around the house because they live there, we're a team so all have to chip in. But that's just our way of doing it.

They don't really spend their own money. We're happy to buy clothes etc. The older one spends a bit on extra clothes/odd juice out with friends when shopping. But we are happy to increase it to a decent amount because I want them to save for older teen years/uni etc. They have savings accounts but having a decent amount in current accounts too is the aim. They both want to get part time jobs to earn extra when old enough too, to add extra to their uni funds! Just adding that as you mentioned your older DS isn't interested in spending. That's not a bad thing, he'll save up a decent amount over the next few years for when he is interested 😉