American girlfriend? !

[Perfumepixie]

My son is 18. He has met a girl online. He says she's 17. Can she come and stay over for a month? ! She's in america. He's only known her a few months. He thinks as long as she pays for food it's ok. Hotels are expensive and she is going to save up money. I'm on esa! I just wanted some other people's take on the idea. I'm sure I'm gonna have to say no! I don't want my benefits screwing up , what if she doesn't leave? I also don't like people even coming round to the house, as it makes me really nervous. I've also got a 8 year old to think about.

Nope. She's a stranger and a minor. No. They can continue an online relationship for now. Sorry if that seems harsh.

1 or 2 nights yes but a month no way.
Will she even have parental permission at 17?

Well, she can come to the UK, nothing stops her, but it doesn’t mean that she needs to stay at your house.

‘Sorry son but this won’t work for our family.’ That’s all you need to say to him. How is she affording the trip? Because a cheap hostel costs nothing in comparison to transatlantic flights, if she can afford one she can budget and save some more for the other.

Nope.

She isn’t his girlfriend: they’ve never met.

A month in your house is a looooong time. Especially with changing pandemic rules etc. what if she got stuck here for a while?!

(She’s 17. In some American states that’s below the age of consent. Be careful what tou get involved in.)

If her parents are happy for her to travel to a different continent and stay with
total strangers for a month, including one whom she presumably plans to have sex with, why aren’t they happy to fund a hostel/ airbnb?

Don’t get involved.

Well, I was almost that teen. I met my husband online 22 years ago and we used to fully expect our parents to just calmly accept this situation and welcome the other into our home. For us it was true love and we managed to end up together, because one of us was willing to make the move eventually.
As a parent now however, I shudder at my teenage antics and feel so sorry for my parents who were worried sick for my safety.

I think it’s a sensible compromise to say obviously this is someone you’ve got to know online and I’d be happy to meet her. However, staying at mine for a month is too long due to factors such as you mentioned in your op. They can save up and go halves on a place for her to stay for a week, and you might be willing to let her stay at yours the second week having met her a few times and formed an opinion. They’re asking a lot of you, so I’d be understanding to the situation but I wouldn’t allow them to walk all over me. Good luck! Young love eh?