14 YO

[MoonOnaStick69]

Never goes out at weekends or after school with friends, has friends at school but happy just to see at school.

Just wondering what your teenage children are like?

Mine is the same. Seems happy but I do worry that he's missing out on things, and not learning to be independent. But he's quite an introvert so I think a full day is enough for him.

Ds13.... pretty similar. He sees his friends at football but that's an organised activity. He rarely initiates a meet up, nor do they.

My son is nearly 13...only meets friends when it's not too cold

Other than seeing them at school/football/online...it needs to be warmish for him to venture out

Ds age 13, comes home from school and straight onto group phone calls with his friends- who he has just spent the whole day with
Often has sleepovers or meet ups at weekends. We don’t see much of him

Similar here - Year 9 and has only met up with school friends outside of school twice in all that time! Seems happy just to see them in school, and game with them virtually. He does see some old primary school friends fairly regularly though (entirely of my instigation as I am friendly with the mums so we do walks/meals out etc).

My year 9 DS was exactly the same until a few weeks ago. Had never seen a secondary school friend out of school. But it has changed lately and he has been to a friendly house, had a group here and they’ve made arrangements to do something tomorrow.

But I could have written your post a few weeks ago. So things may change for your child too!

I think Covid had a massive impact at a time when they would otherwise have been making deeper friendships and gaining confidence. D’s also went to his secondary school without knowing a soul, and that contributed.

I have three teens, and they all seem to need more time chilling out at home on their own than I was expecting.

I think for the younger ones, the disruption of the pandemic has definitely affected their socialising and confidence - they missed out on that key transition stage of developing independence. But my eldest is 15, with a very solid and settled friendship group, and they do meet up out of school, but not as much as they could do by any means.

My kids are all still involved in sports/dance outside school and the oldest has a job, so they're pretty busy. But there's definitely less independent socialising than I was expecting by this age based on what I remember of my teens. I'd probably like it if they did a bit more, but I'm trying not to be anxious about it, and trust in their ability to navigate it all for themselves.

What was he like the last couple of years? The parents in ds's football when he was 10-13 team actively encouraged them to meet up, either out or at each others house, have some sleepovers, go to lesuire centre, cinema, activities or just a walk in surrounding fields then walk into town for a mcds etc.

The sleepovers stopped when they were 13-14, but by that point they knew they enjoyed being together outside school so kept it up themselves when they got older, especially during summer months.

If your ds hasn't had the same experiences, likely due to covid, you might need to give them a nudge so he can find out socialising with friends is fun.

Dd1 was and still is a bit like this at 17. She has a boyfriend who she sees most weekends, but rarely meets with friends, though she seems to have plenty.

I think for her the thing is because she dances most week nights, and has lots of friends there, she feels she’s done enough socialising.

Dd2 nearly 14 goes out more with friends. Though the last couple of weekends she has just chilled, but did meet a friend one evening this week. They’re all different and as long as they’re happy with how things are I wouldn’t be too worried.

Mine does a huge amount of sport but is the same. He sees his mates at school and sports clubs but doesn’t feel the need to socialise more. I think it’s fine….