15 YO dd spending time at bf house!

5 replies

PurpleLion2 · 20/01/2022 16:02

She's been seeing him for 2 months and he's a nice lad to be honest. I just do want her at his house all the time. I don't want her there at all (as I don't know if they are supervised) but she asks most days if she can go to his after school. When I say no or he can come here, she questions me and gets all argumentative and just goes anyway! Its the same thing week in week out and I'm totally done with it. I've told her I want her home, she can go when it's planned, not to just text me after school. Just feel like you the control is gone and now it's up to her to make her own decisions and choices but she's still so young 😞

OP posts:

MeridasMum · 20/01/2022 16:12

I'm dealing with this right now with DD, 16.

We have had the sex talk and she assured me she wasn't ready but that was a month or so ago and I know things can change.

I've given myself a bit of a talking to: it's not my business, he's a nice boy (same age as her), she is fully informed and generally very sensible. So I've decided to leave her to it in the knowledge that I'm here if she needs me.

Well that's the theory... Good luck

Original poster

PurpleLion2 · 20/01/2022 16:17

@MeridasMum

I'm dealing with this right now with DD, 16.

We have had the sex talk and she assured me she wasn't ready but that was a month or so ago and I know things can change.

Well that's the theory... Good luck

Thanks, I think if she was 16 it would be a lot different. They are both only just 15... I know I need to speak to her again to make life a bit easier on us both. Good luck to you too.

OP posts:

JDaytona · 20/01/2022 16:19

Tbh I'd talk to her about contraception and tell her to get on the pill AND use condoms.

Teenagers are going to have sex. If they can't have sex indoors they'll do it in a car/park/friends house. You can't prevent it by not letting them spend time at his house. All you can do is give her the tools to do it safely.

Ladyof · 21/01/2022 10:17

I am going through similar, he does come here too but they want to be together every night of the week and I don't think it's healthy, I'm torn between leaving her to it as she is nearly 16 and making her limit it.

Does he come to yours and are they allowed in her room or privacy at yours? I wonder why she always wants to be at his? Maybe try and find that out first.

Wondergirl100 · 21/01/2022 11:21

Could you sit down and try to catch her in a good mood and negotiate. Also - do you have clear reasons WHY you don't always want her going there or why specifically she can't go after school? Because of homework? Because you want her to maintain some independence? Be clear or she won't listen.

I fell wildly in love at around that age and truly wild horses would have had to drag us apart - I think it's totally normal she wants to be by his side it's such a fresh new feeling at that age to form that connection with someone. I found it so overwhelming.

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