How to deal with DS (14) constantly trying to get time off school because he’s ‘ill’?

[VioletPetals]

DS (14) is in yr 10.
We’ve had yet another battle today where he said he felt unwell and didn’t want to go to school, he pleaded and cried that he was “genuinely ill” and needed to stay home and rest, “just for today”.

Fortunately I was able to convince him that he did have to go to school, but he has been texting me all day complaining about how awful he feels and asking to come home.

This has become a regular occurrence,
Sometimes he says he’s too ill and will literally refused to go to school and he’s too big to be forced to go to get dressed or out of the door to go to school so it’s an impossible situation.

His attendance was fine before this year, but it’s now at 73%

The school are no help at all and just say it is our responsibility to get him to school.

I’ve tried talking to him about if there is something bothering him, a reason he doesn’t want to go to school, but he is adamant he does want to go to school, he’s just feeling unwell.
But at the same time won’t pin down specific symptoms, he always says he just “feels awful” or that he feels like he’s going to be sick.
I suggested we go to the gp, because it’s not normal to feel ill so frequently, but he refused and says he just needs to ‘rest’.

Has anyone else been through similar?
I don’t really know what to do.

I went through something similar and actually couldn't put into words what the problem was. I can now as an adult see clearly what was amiss but I just didn't have the ability to identify then label what was going on to my mum.

I would keep talking and being compassionate not frustrated as ultimately this isn't a happy boy and it's not his fault. If something is going on at school that could be causing some physical symptoms of anxiety making him genuinely feel off so a doctor might help work this out. Could he be worried about leaving you/the house for some reason (ie nothing to do with school itself)?

Definitely see the GP. Has he recently had covid?

He hasn’t had covid no.

We’ve since had another chat and he’s adamant it’s just illness and nothing else.
I offered to help with support if he needed it but he said nothing is wrong, nothing is bothering him, it’s just illness.

Telling him the GP is not optional probably wouldn’t go down well, especially if they want to do a blood test, he can be really stubborn and will just refuse to go if I try to make him, same as with school really, it’s better to make it optional and get him to agree to go than it would be to make it a fight, picking my battles and all that.

He’s been fine to go to school since Monday and says he’s feeling fine now.