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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Original poster

Teenager and Basic Hygiene

18 replies

MrsDWashington · 06/01/2022 15:45

My 13 year old DD is driving me absolutely mad. Her lack of hygiene is awful.

I have to badger her to get in the shower, wash her hair etc.

It's gotten to the point now were she is lying about brushing her teeth before school before going out etc. I have checked her toothbrush this morning and it was bone dry.

She even has a BF I cannot understand why she doesn't want to brush her teeth! Her Grandma is a dental nurse and has told her the importance of it.

Anyone else dealt with this?

OP posts:
Adododoadahdahdah · 06/01/2022 15:59

It will pass.
DC went through a stinky, grubby teen phase.

Now have 40 min showers with me banging on the door to get out & stop wasting water!

Original poster
MrsDWashington · 06/01/2022 16:12

@Adododoadahdahdah

It will pass. DC went through a stinky, grubby teen phase.

Now have 40 min showers with me banging on the door to get out & stop wasting water!

I hope so!

I think the lack of brushing her teeth and lying about it is driving me the most insane.

I cannot understand why she wouldn't want to brush her teeth.

OP posts:
Noisyprat · 06/01/2022 16:15

Tell her she smells and show her pictures of youngish people with black falling out teeth.

Harlequin1088 · 06/01/2022 16:18

My 12 year old Stepson is currently in the habit of turning on the shower, letting it run for a few minutes, splashing a bit of water on his hair to make it look wet, then claiming that he’s had a shower.

He’s always surprised that his Dad and I aren’t buying this little ruse of his and gets a bit defensive when we point out that his towel is bone dry and still neatly folded on the towel rail and that the brand new bottle of shower gel we bought him still has the little foil seal intact. Oh and the main giveaway is that he absolutely flippin’ stinks still.

Kids that age are just gross I think but I’m hoping they grow out of it!

Original poster
MrsDWashington · 06/01/2022 16:36

@Noisyprat

Tell her she smells and show her pictures of youngish people with black falling out teeth.
Ive done that. Her Nana has too (dental nurse of 35 years) and gave some disposable tablets which show up old plaque on teeth to show her.

Seems to go in one ear and out the other.

OP posts:
coffeetofunction · 06/01/2022 16:40

Both my teenagers went through this stage and it did not matter what I said or did. Thankfully they are pasted it now. To the point the DS17 uses so much shower gel I've refused to buy it for him and gave him a bar of soap.

HadaVerde · 06/01/2022 16:42

It’ll pass.

Quicker if you ignore it.

kerkyra · 06/01/2022 17:07

My son 14 is like this. Going out this morning to get lft tested at school
Me ' have you brushed your teeth?' As we were going out of door.
Him 'urhh no,I haven't eaten anything yet'.

It's disgusting! I made sure he did them and explained about bacteria,bad breath etc but seems to go in one ear and out of the other.

MissyB1 · 06/01/2022 17:19

Ds age 13 is the same!! Drives me insane 😩 I have to nag him to shower, wash his hair and face. His skin isn’t good at the moment so I have to be on top of that too, because he doesn’t seem to care!
Oh and he doesn’t brush his hair either.

lisaandalan · 06/01/2022 17:32

Stand in the bathroom with her watch her shower and clean her teeth and tell her this will happen until she starts doing it properly.
Is her boyfriend dirty. X

Original poster
MrsDWashington · 06/01/2022 17:53

@HadaVerde

It’ll pass.

Quicker if you ignore it.

Im sorry but I cannot ignore her not brushing her teeth.

Ive grown up with a dental nurse for a Mum and heard about severe holes in teeth excruciating toothache etc.

Shes 13, 14 this year and should be brushing her teeth, its basic hygiene

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPoster · 06/01/2022 17:59

Well if you're not going to ignore it then you need to up your badgering game ie watch her brush her teeth. Buy her a timer/ a fancy toothbrush / separate toothpaste ...
As PPs have said, it's a phase. You give them the tools to stay clean (ie soap, gel, toothbrush, toothpaste) and then you stay on top of them till they use them. Eventually, it will click and they won't need you to cajole them.
I know your mum's job feels relevant to you but it isn't relevant to your teen being grubby. She's not an extension or a reflection of her gran so stop trying to guilt her by referring to her gran.

Bettybantz · 06/01/2022 18:03

Don’t do what @lisaandalan said. That’s horrendous.

It will pass OP. Every teenager I know (loads) goes through a grubby phase. Just keep reminding her:

ItsAlwaysThere · 06/01/2022 18:08

What about talking about the millions (billions) of bacteria that multiply so much overnight and how that's worse with a filthy mouth as they basically feed on the food?

That's grim!

Original poster
MrsDWashington · 06/01/2022 18:18

@ShinyHappyPoster

Well if you're not going to ignore it then you need to up your badgering game ie watch her brush her teeth. Buy her a timer/ a fancy toothbrush / separate toothpaste ... As PPs have said, it's a phase. You give them the tools to stay clean (ie soap, gel, toothbrush, toothpaste) and then you stay on top of them till they use them. Eventually, it will click and they won't need you to cajole them. I know your mum's job feels relevant to you but it isn't relevant to your teen being grubby. She's not an extension or a reflection of her gran so stop trying to guilt her by referring to her gran.
I dont know what you mean by guilting her referring to her Nan! I haven't.
OP posts:
Original poster
MrsDWashington · 06/01/2022 18:25

@ItsAlwaysThere

What about talking about the millions (billions) of bacteria that multiply so much overnight and how that's worse with a filthy mouth as they basically feed on the food?

That's grim!

I know!

Honestly I have told her its basic hygiene to brush your teeth!

Im going to have to stand over her again like when she was little. The fact she tells lies aswell saying she has done them. Drives me mad.

OP posts:
Original poster
MrsDWashington · 06/01/2022 18:26

@lisaandalan

Stand in the bathroom with her watch her shower and clean her teeth and tell her this will happen until she starts doing it properly. Is her boyfriend dirty. X
Thats my next move now.

I will be standing with her whilst she does it like I used to watch her when she was little.

No he doesn't seem dirty, Ive met him and he seems okay.

OP posts:
Noisyprat · 07/01/2022 15:07

Have you tried, whilst you are in a calm setting eg. the car, expressing how concerned you are? Explaining that whilst she may not be bothered that other people almost certainly are and you are worried she will be bullied/lose friends. Emphasise that teeth cleaning is especially crucial to health and if she loses her teeth then that'll be it if SHE can't afford a new set?

If that fails how about stop washing her clothes since it doesn't matter does it (sorry I know that's flippant)!

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